Most of my fall was a huge drunken blur. I drank whenever I wasn't at work, spending most of it numb. I was trying to avoid facing a handful of things. I spent nights, although it was usually just an hour, with different guys. I wasn't a fan of repeats. That lead to the rape. It didn't stop my behavior for some reason.
I didn't stop drinking until around Thanksgiving. My grandmother was dying, I was suicidal, and I felt like I had no friends. When she did pass, I decided I needed to be more serious about things. I realized I needed to take relationships seriously. I stopped hooking up and looking for something real.
Then my brother died.
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