24 August 2011

Confusion

Once upon a time, there was a very confused girl. She felt very alone and wanted the comfort of someone beside her. She thought about this constantly, mainly because it had been so long since she experienced that feeling. In an attempt to numb that need, she puts the physical needs far ahead of the emotional ones though it never helps for long.

The emotional wants always come back. She spends most her days watching her friends and hearing stories about their marriages and children realizing she's being left behind. She's the lone single girl in a sea of married women and their families. Its making her biological tick much louder than it should at this age, considering she's no where near ready for children.

Suddenly, she notices this boy. It begins as something silly, then grows slightly. She finds him absolutely adorable and wishes he would notice her in a way that's less than platonic. She talks to him a lot and really enjoys his friendship. She tortures herself over this infatuation because she knows it would never work between them.

There's this other boy, who's been mentioned here before, who also caught her eye. He still jokes around and flirts with her and she enjoys it. One night he asks her what she is doing after work and they go to a local fast food place for dinner, since that is the only place open at that time of night. Both are exhausted so the outing is boring and low key. A week later, this girl asks if he wants to try again.

She goes to the store near by to shop while waiting and gets his number from another coworker whom she's avoiding. After a quick dinner, they sit in their cars talking. After moving to another location, they continue talking. She may have slipped that she had a crush on him. They talk for nearly an hour before retiring to their homes.

This girl has officially decided she was in denial about liking this boy. He's three years younger than her and a coworker, so it's all kinds of horrible in the making. Hence making her very confused. And the lack of blogging in the past week.

I've been horrible this week. I've been working and had horrible writer's block. I've had so much swimming around in my head that I haven't been able to put it into coherent sentences. I suck.


1 comment:

Big a said...

o jess ... i understand ... i get so many things going on that i don't know where to begin in my writing.

sometimes, i just write whatever is going on at the very second, and it turns into something to write about.

free flow!