21 September 2011

My Taste In Men Is The Worst

So. I apparently have a major issue with guys my own age. I either like guys my younger brother's age, which I won't touch because of the whole "you're only freshly legal thing and I don't feel like cradle robbing right now" mood of things. Or, I like guys way older. Like, in their thirties. I'm sure you remember that debacle with Jeremiah, my 31 year old hook up who ended up ruining the universe. Well... there's a new one I have my eye on. Who is, you guessed it, ten years my senior.

I happen to think he's absolutely gorgeous. He certainly doesn't look his age, I honestly judged him at 25 when I first met him. So. Chris is a week into the job and flirting with me, so I invited him to a party this past Friday night. I got out about 9, so I ended over to the party early and was the first one there as per my usual. I cracked open a beer and relaxed waiting for everyone else to get off work. Once a decent amount of people got there, the beer pong games started. Courtney and I won both our games and took bragging rights.

Once I was properly drunk, the closing shift showed up to the party. Which included Chris. I was pretty damn happy about that one. Some more drinking occurred, one or four blunts were passed around. I was basically glued to his side all night. I told him it was his job to keep me warm and giggled on the inside when his arm was around me. I told him straight out I thought he was hot and that people kept leaving us alone because of that.

Cue Wren, this boy who has been all over my emotional needs since he met me. This is the kid that tried cuddling with me on my birthday. I told him that I didn't want to cuddle him, hence me moving. But, I'm side tracking myself.

Later in the night, we were on the back deck and the chairs were all taken. I informed Chris he was doing a lousy job of keeping me warm and I could only think of one proper solution to that problem. I just wanted to sit on his lap and drunk snuggle. He quipped that he could think of two ways, but we settled with snuggling in the chair. Shortly after, most of us decided to catch some sleep. I took the front room and offered to let Chris share with me.

As he was puking, I changed into better pants and made up the bed. I made him mouth wash because I was not getting within two feet of vomit breath, even drunk. We kept flirting and told him we should cuddle. He told me he could do that, so I obviously wasted no time and snuggled up close. Almost immediately, his hands were on my tits. Two seconds later, he goes to undo the bra. I laugh. That, stopped him. I said I just thought it was funny he was trying to undo my bra without kissing me first. And kiss. Boy is god.

I will only say things got pretty damn hot. To the point we were both butt naked on the floor. Wren did walk through the room on his way upstairs while we were making out. I think he got the hint. Chris did mumble something about relationships and making sure it was just for fun. But the sex was great, his body is literally from my dreams, and I didn't want to leave. But I had to. My car has been in the shop for two weeks so I've been borrowing Momz' truck and I promised to have it back by 9am. I was dressed an hour early, but I knew if I went back to sleep I wouldn't get back up. So I kissed him goodbye, told him I'd see him at work, and left Chris.

Work that night actually wasn't awkward whatsoever. Chris had his hand on the small of my back once when he walked by, called me honey, and even got a hug goodnight... after I asked. Well. I'm sure all of you realize by now I'm kind of crazy. And a huge creeper. So I found his facebook. Not to add him or anything to make him aware of my creeper status, but to look at his pictures and drool endlessly.

He has a girlfriend. And has for a month. So apparently that's what he meant when he mentioned relationships. Oops. So yeah, I helped him cheat. Generally, I don't give a shit if I help a person cheat. As long as I don't know the person, I'm not affected. But, I like being told. I just don't like being deceived in any way. If he told me, I might still have done it. Because I'm a horrible person, but again I'm side tracking.

Basically my plan is to pretend like I never found out. Because, all together now, I'm a horrible person.

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