27 September 2011

Turtle Butt & Serious Rants About Motherhood

I got home earlier this afternoon from a wonderful overnight road trip with my lovely Erika. She brought me to her hometown so I could be her moral support in court for the custody battle of her son. It was a fun night and day of long discussions, weed, mouths on my favorite cylindrical object, laughs, laughs about the Village People, and a turtle coming on to while talking about the neck foreskin.

Seriously. A turtle was coming on to me. A fellow and I named the turtle Johnny Foreskin, before realizing it was female, because the neck was all wrinkled and silly looking. The turtle stared at me. Maybe because I valiantly saved her from certain death on the side of the road, maybe because I'm awesome, maybe because I'm hot to turtles. Regardless, it was staring at me. When I accused her of checking me out, she nodded. So I made fun of her wrinkly turtle butt.

The main post of this post, which I was going to make wicked serious but got terribly sidetracked, is about the reason we went to Concord. Erika had to be in court with her husband to deal with the issue regarding the custody of her son. This guy was a major tool bag and I wanted to punch him almost immediately in his smug, ugly face. He was enjoying her agony way too much and tried inciting a fight to the point the bailiff had to step in. The child isn't even biologically his, he just wants to cause grief.

After all this, when we were on our four hour drive back home, the serious discussions set in. We discussed what her husband has put her through, what Mike put me through. My shitty, abusive father, the trials of being a parent. Abortion, teenage motherhood, marriage. Literally anything having to do with the court case. Erika is my age, 22, and has two children. A seven year old daughter and a seven month old son, whom the custody battle is about.

I will say this straight out. I have NOTHING against teenage mothers. I love Erika to death and she got pregnant at fourteen. I have nothing against them, it just isn't my thing. I'm not ready to be a mother. I'm not done being a child myself to think about having one. I honestly don't believe myself to be emotionally or psychologically stable enough to be a mother. I just don't see myself doing it. To add onto it, my current situation is horrible for a child. I make barely any money, I'm lucky if I get twenty hours a week. I have no health insurance, no savings, and I'm horribly single. I wouldn't have the means to even afford a pregnancy.

I'm pro-choice. I've always believed the government shouldn't be able to pass a law that tells a woman whether or not she could choose to end a pregnancy. There are situations where it's extremely, well not beneficial, but ideal. Some pregnancies are life threatening to the mother, some children live horrible, short lives, some pregnancies are a product of rape, others just don't have the means to get proper health care during the pregnancy. At this point, I would get an abortion if I happened to get pregnant while I was whoring around. I'm not at a place in my life were I would be a good parent. Then again I say that now, but who knows what I'd actually do in the situation.

With all this said, when you do have a child, I don't understand how you would abandon it. I would just say I hate dead beat fathers, but mothers do it, too. Basically, bring a life into this world, fucking take care of it. Whether you give it up for adoption, giving it a loving home, or don't fucking have a kid. Don't be one of those losers who knocks up a chick and does nothing. No contact, no support, no presence. Single parents have it too hard, don't make things worse. A child needs their parents. Own up to your mistakes, you goddamn tool.



K. Marie said...

First, let me be the first to say that a child isn't a mistake and should never be called one. Even if the person in question made the mistake of choosing a not so good sexual partner, that would be the mistake...not having the baby. The mistake was having sex in the first place.

I know that when I was a teenager having sex that I knew full well the possibilities of becoming pregnant, even being on the pill. And eventually being pregnant was what happened.

I wasn't 14, I was 19, but needless to say, I wasn't ready either. But I always did what I needed to do to give my daughter what she needed and was a good mom. I gave up a lot.

Her dad was a tool and still is a tool even to this day and she is now 18.

I feel for your friend. I went through horrible custody and visitation battles with him and just when I thought they were over, his lazy, incompetent, jobless ass always found something else he thought he deserved.

Unfortunately, things don't always get better.

Again, I'm so sorry about your friend. Tell her to keep her head up and do what she feels is right in her gut and for her children. Don't EVER let a man tell her otherwise.

angela said...

The only thing I hate about teenage moms is the ones who think they automatically become motherly and mature with experience of 20 years on their hands, when they haven't.

I've said it before, I know, but it pisses me off.

I also hate when people say "rape cases are only about 1%." As if that 1% doesn't matter and should be left out? Or be taken less seriously?

My boyfriend and I have gone over pretty much everything we'd do if I got pregnant, and our future, and our financial situations. We did the later last night, planned it all out. And today, too. So really, we're set.

It's good to have a plan, now I won't freak out as much.

In response directly to the post: why does that guy think he'll even get the kid if he's not directly related to him in the first place? And feeding off her pain definitely won't get him the kid.

Jess said...

He thinks he'll get the kid because they're still married. In NC, you have to be separated for a year before you can file for divorce and that time just passed.

jamiessmiles said...

I am pro-choice. And I don't buy into the rape or if her life is in danger arguments. I think, simple and straightforward. If a woman is pregnant and does not wish to be, then she should get to choose to do what she wishes with her own body without shame or ridicule. The end. No argument over the whys and wherefores, how she got pregnant, if she used protection.... It does not matter. HER body. HER choice. In saying that, if she is going to have a kid and raise it, fucking do it. Don't bitch and whine about how you were too young, AGAIN her choice. People bitch about guys not getting a say. Sure you do. You can choose to use protection. If you don't, then you know that should she get pregnant, it'll be her choice. HIS choice to take that chance. Dead beat dads suck. Man up.