I'm going to tell you a story today. I'm not sure how it ends just yet, but perhaps you can write it for me. Or maybe you'll make me wait and find out on my own, which would be a little mean.
So I've been working at my current job for almost three months now. I've finally started acting like myself there and I don't think some people understand my personality. Up until now, I only talked openly with a few people. I've started feeling comfortable with most of these people and decided maybe it was time for them to actually know me. For the people that do know me, you know I'm extremely sarcastic, kind of a douche, and a slight perv. I basically have the personality of a man, teamed with slight emotional instability.
I've been closing a lot as a driver lately, which entails that me along with another driver or two and the supervisor are stuck there until everything is spotless. This sometimes lasts two hours after close, depending how late we're out on deliveries or how busy it was that night. Most of the time, I close with the guys. Both Chris and Tj are recently single, so their jokes have become increasingly sexual and being myself, I can go to par with them. Sometimes I give them a look of sheer embarrassment if someone mentions one of them "double teaming" the dishes with me, sometimes I pretend to be offended if they try to avoid swiping my ass when squeezing by in the tight spaces by the sinks.
As I've mentioned before, Tj and I have this joke where he claims I'm a man. With huge boobs. I've always told him that I know what I have in my pants and I know it's great. That if I was a man, my dick would be bigger than his. Well now that he's single and that's brought up, he says he won't believe until he gets proof. He told him he won't believe I'm a girl until he has proof of what I'm packing down there. To his dismay, I informed him he'll never know then. Though he did call me a girl at one point this week. I was taking the trash out at 11pm and he came to check on me because he doesn't feel comfortable with the women out there so late. He also called my accent cute and said he liked it.
Now Chris. He's also been flirting with me. He closed every night with me this past week and we drive the same way home. One night we both pulled into a gas station on the way and talked for a little while. Once we were done, he asked if he was going to see me the following day, which he was. When I got home, I went to wash my face. I got soap in my eye, acne soap. That shit stings. I posted it to facebook and Chris liked it. So I felt the need to call him a jerk. I imed him and we ended up talking for a while. Apparently I'm a lot different than I am at work, which he could tell from that one conversation. I'm "sassy". We ended up discussing fights, since a lot have been happening around work. So we were trying to figure out who could take who in a fight. I declare that while I'm much shorter than he, I can handle my own because I'm badass so I could obviously take him. He agree mainly because I'm from Boston and we're brutal. At one point the conversation kind of ended, just sort of fizzled, and I went to sleep.
We worked again with each other last night. I got in early and got chinese because I was craving it for days. Chris came in and I offered him some since I was already full after two bites but he was made to punch in early. Later when a girl was struggling to open a jar, Chris tried then told me to because I'm Miss Badass. I had to sadly inform him that I never said I was badass at opening jars, just at life. A little bit later he let me know he wasn't ignoring me the night before, he had just fallen asleep which was understandable since we hadn't gotten off work until 11:30pm and this was well past midnight. I told him I figured and that I had done the same afterwards anyway. We joked around for the rest of the night and at one point he accidently swiped my bum with the dust pan. When I mentioned this casually, which of course in Jess language means, "Hey! You touched my ass!" He just smiled and said, "You liked it. Oh yeah, something I forgot to mention last night. Where I'm from, we're literal about what we say." To which I maturely responded, "Well where I'm from, we think what people from where you're from say is gay!", due to the sassy comment. After close he tried forcing me to take home a pizza that was left. Then tried throwing a slice in my face. After laughing at him, I drove off to my friend's, another coworker's, place.
So I was discussing the situation with Erika once I was at her place. The conversation continued for most the night, mainly because we were taking shots and I never shut up when I drink. We talked about my sleeping with two guys from work already and the fact the Chris and Vickie, another girl from work, broke up just a month ago or so. I really don't need more drama at work and I'm friendly with Vickie. Then Erika laid something wicked juicey on me. Vickie is pregnant and she's not sure who the father is. It could be Chris or her current boyfriend. So that just adds to the whole stress of the situation. Like, Chris isn't unattractive and if he does have a crush on me, I'm not going to mind. But then again, I'm not going to actively go after it. Because you all know my track record when it comes to anything regarding emotions or sex. So I'm not sure what to do. I guess the most rational thing is stop overthinking it, because I'm most likely blowing things out of proportion. He probably doesn't even like me, so I probably have nothing to worry about. But again, this is me and I always over think things. Ugh.