30 July 2011

Would You Read This If I Said It Was For You?

It's been hard to put words to this page. I've been struggling to come with anything to say that would be worthwhile to you. I don't think you've considered anything I said worthwhile in such a long time, so why would you listen tonight?

Talking to you is often exactly like talking to a wall. Nothing that comes from my mouth ever reaches those ears. I speak but you don't listen. I've been talking to deaf ears for years, so why would you acknowledge me tonight?

I've often felt invisible in front of you. I have done more than I can remember to make you notice me, though you've never seen me. I could be screaming and on fire before your eyes but you'd look right through me. I've been fighting your attention for longer than I care to remember, so why would I continue to try?

I've been here. I've been talking, breathing, living. My every move has been for you and I've never gotten a thing in return. Perhaps this is what it feels like to realize it all meant nothing. Maybe this is what it feels like to realize I meant nothing.

In the end, this is what it feels like to realize my life is nothing.

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