10 June 2011

Fallen Tears Once Again

So I cried myself asleep again last night. Though it was 3:30am when I finally said fuck and closed my laptop, refusing to talk anymore. I was fighting back tears as it was during the conversation with him, but I wasn't going to cry talking to him. If I didn't leave my vodka at Andy's, I would've been chugging that last night. I was just completely miserable.

When I finally got the sobbing down and I drifted off, I dreamt. For the first time in a while, I dreamed about him. One of my best friends and I went on vacation and were exploring the wonderful city. And I saw him. It was kind of awkward. At least that's how my sleeping brain interpreted it. I don't know how else to explain bumping into someone you loved years later. So yeah, awkward.

As for Operation Distracted Heart, tonight after work I'm going to Andy's yet again. I plan to get plastered and pass out in a wicked inconvenient way. At least I plan to if I don't punch the shit out of Jeremiah if he plans on showing up. We're both working tonight and I hope I get cut first since I closed last night, only fair. Then there's that date with Michael in the morning, if I show up. Then more work! Keeping busy is the only thing keeping me relatively sane right now.

God, I don't know how you guys are putting up with me still. I'm depressing myself.


jamiessmiles said...

Awww, Sig. He is so not worth your tears. Hugs to you. Fuck him. Well, no don't... you know what I mean.

Jess said...

Thanks Jamie. <3