Drunk, Me That Is OH & Bastards

Oh hi there, I didn't see you. No, I actually did, I promise. I'm just slightly buzzed and I'm pretty sure I'm actually typing with a sort of normalcy. I'm going to pretend I'm not going to ramble and completely butcher this story I'm trying to tell you. It's pretty weird. Like, really. Okay... Let's start shall we?

Okay. So I wrote a little something something about this key player just the other day. It must be like, karma or something that he would try and talk to me. And me just being like FUCKIT talking back. So the dreaded ex fiancee, because I was totes cool and got engaged in high school because I thought it was trueloveforeveryo, facebook messaged me. He even made a point to say he had no motive in talking to me, just wanted to say hi, though he did ever so subtly mention the "wife". Psh, like I need to fricken know about you and your wife. Psh, PSH. That's right, PSH. I barely made coherent sentences then, or now.

But, I flirted with a cute sentry tonight, watched a trash can be whipped out a room, and called ma'am multiple times. Silly Camp Johnson and the silly things you Marines do. OH, and a coworker totes thought I was sixteen. We were talking about the crappy night and I said I just wanted a beer. He agreed and I said I would have to pick some up on the way home because I didn't have any. He's all like, "You can buy beer?" "Um, yeah. I'm 21, almost 22." "You totally look like you're sixteen." *sigh*

I DID buy that beer, well wine cooler, on the way home and split it with Momz because I bought the BIG bottle. We drank and talked and laughed at the cats and now I'm in my room with no pants. I had to punish the cats and lock them in separate bathrooms for being hooligans and knocking things over. Momz just came and let out Dels and he was sitting on the bathmat with the biggest fuck you face ever. Seriously, totes funny. Oh Dels.

Okay. I should go before I type something stupid about how much I wish I was pantsless for a good reason, like for sexy times. But I'm not, I'm just going to go to bed. Like a lameo. Or how a new boy started tonight and his name is Lindsey and how funny I think that is. Okay. Really bed now. I promise. Or at least I promise to end this post here. =]

Dels and Blinkin

Watch and aww.

Dels wants you to think he hate Blinkin, but we know better.

It's Been A Year...

So I was going to tell you all about boning Shane the other night. Because who doesn't love a good sex story? Perhaps you're tired of hearing about me whoring my way through life, maybe you're just jealous, but regardless I decided to skip that. Mainly because today is too epic.

Yes. More epic than sex.

It's officially one year since I left Cape Cod and moved to North Carolina. A whole fucking year. It's crazy. And what have I accomplished? Honestly, not much. I did pass my pharmacy technician class, though I haven't gotten a job in a pharmacy yet. I've whored around, got drunk a lot, got a few pets. It's been a weird year, but that's pretty damn fine with me. My dull year is what got me back into blogging and I'm so happy I did! I've met cool people through both the Shop and 20sb. Some friendships I hope I never lose, because you guys are badass. Us blogger types are just too awesome.

So here's some stuff that happened this year!

Cuddle?

I've had cuddling on the brain a lot lately. Maybe I've been single too long, maybe I just want to be held. I've come to the realization I've spent too many nights laying awake for hours wishing someone was next to me. My blankets aren't too fun to cuddle with, they don't hug you back. This has made me feel a little more lonely than usual. Perhaps because I'm sort of interested in someone and I don't really have a chance there. I mean, we're friends but he's another one who just wants to have fun rather than settle down at our age. Oh, and I met him because he's sleeping with a coworker. Not too bright to try and get with it. All I know is I dig him.

Whatever the case may be, I needed to get myself a cuddle buddy. So I got one. He's adorable, has these golden green eyes, cuddly, and black. I normally don't go for the black boys, but he just got me. I know what you're thinking, "Jess, do you really need another guy in your life?" Apparently the answer to that question is fuck yeah. I know you want to see a picture of him. AND a picture of us cuddling. Okay, okay, stop pleading. =]

Stalker & Life

I might have a stalker. Coworker comes into work on his days off when he knows I'm there. He hovers around me to the point other people notice. At work, we call him Stalker. It's seriously creepy. I'm fully regretting that date now. Which, of course, he is telling people he regrets. Because I'm the crazy one. Psh, sure I am.

In other news, Dels is almost healed. He has two teeny scabbed areas left and if he stops scratching, they should be healed soon. Poor thing has a huge bald spot but some fur is growing back. I took his cone off and let him outside for the first time since he became sick today. He honestly had no clue what to do with himself. He freaked at every sound since he hadn't heard them in so long, it was kind of cute. What wasn't cute was the bath I had to give him when he came back in. I was soaked.

I had an old skool day. I found a copy of Super Mario Bros the movie at my local WalMart, so I obviously bought it without a second thought. I spent my night reliving my wonderful childhood and as soon as it was over, I pulled out my brand new game. Momz bought an Xbox Kinect so I got Michael Jackson: The Experience. Needless to say, I've spent hours on this game. I've spent hours singing in flasetto and humping the air.

Hee!

Ramblings of a Stahving Driver

It's past six, and I haven't eatten today. I had half a Black&Mild and most of a bottle of soda, but other than the tiniest piece of pop corn chicken you have ever seen, no food has been digested. Reasons? Well I was called into work this morning before I had time to eat breakfast. They needed me stat, I didn't even get my shower. I got home about 45 minutes ago but my first priority was to shower. I felt gross. Today was a hot day and our uniforms are black. Leaving a hot kitchen only to be in a hot car is not the ideal. I sweated balls today, ick. Brother is making me dinner on per my order. Pasta sounds pretty nice right now, yay carbs!

But I can't complain too much, I got pretty good tippers today. I only went on three runs and made 16$ in tips plus 1$ per run. So this tired Miss Blogger is going to get out of this towel wrap, put on laundry day clothes, EAT, then run to the laundromat. *my tummy gurgled!* Man is my day exciting! XD

PS, Dels still has some sores, though the smaller ones have healed. I've been worried sick about him and been upset for days. He seems fun, but annoyed we won't let him outside and make him wear a cone. XD

Killer Dels

"Jess! Come quick! Jess!"

I was sitting in my room when I heard Mom calling for me. I run out of my room to see what's wrong.

"Jess, Dels got a mouse! Come look! JESS!"

I stand in the doorway of the mudroom and look down where Mom's finger leads. Beneath the steps I see my cat Dels. In front of him I see a seemingly dead small brown animal. Dels is acting so proud of his kill and casually bats the poor animal. The creature moves and I see ears that don't belong to a mouse.

"IT'S A BUNNY!"

Break!

Today is your serial killer break. So cuddle up with someone awesome and pretend there's nothing bad in the world, on me. If you don't have an awesome cuddle buddy, Dels is pretty adorable!

Delia Doesn't Understand Snow

We had a rather large snowfall a few days ago. I hate snow, that's why I moved from Massachusetts to North Carolina. My little Delia is only five months old and having spent her small life in the south, the snow took her by surprise. I let her outside and she just began scratching at the snow, trying to figure out what it was. She bounded down the steps eager to further explore the strange cold, white stuff.

She pounced every few inches, trying to catch whatever was on the ground. She was so confused. By the way, yes she does have a coat on. Cats need to bundle up, too! She looks like a tiny Sherock Holmes in that coat. I watched her for a good while jumping every which way making small foot prints in the snow. She's always loved the outdoors, but I think the snow was a new toy for her and she lovd it.

Merry Christmas To All!

1It's finally over and boy am I stuffed! It was a great day overall. I'll recap in a minute. First I'd like to say a few things

I just want to thank all my followers and hope you all had the best day possible. You guys are the reason I do this and I hope we'll keep this up into the New Year. You guys are great, and last of all, Stay Classy San Diego.

Here are some Christmas trees for ya.





Nana's tree



My tree









Endings Bring New Beginnings

I jinxed myself, and by myself I mean my pets. Only two days ago I wrote a post about how I got my pet chickens and this afternoon I found out my rooster died in the night. RIP Aquaman, you will be missed you glorious rooster.

Aquaman was always a bold man, staring right at you.

It's got me thinking about death just a little bit and how lost I am when it comes to it. I haven't had anyone close to me ever pass. The last person in my family that I knew passed when I was only seven. I didn't even see my great-nana all that much so seeing her in the hospital and then in the casket was so odd to me. I've been to one funeral since, my ex's father. His father I only knew for about a year, so yeah I was fairly comfortable with him, I still wasn't all that close.