A Word Of Caution

It has only been a few hours since I posted but I was stuck with boredom and that resulted in my reading the few posts I did make in '07. I kind of saw a problem with them and wanted to address it.

I'm no longer that so-called "emo child" or the hopelessly naive girl that I was in high school. Yes, I may have certain bouts of the residual emotional crap or depression but I'm better at hiding it. I think I learned over the years tears get you nowhere and neither does love. All of those issues and weaknesses that followed me out of high school all the way to college have turned a bit colder and I hear the term bitch a lot. Either that, or two faced bitch, because I have the habit of only being sweet when necessary. Nowadays, I rather be my own person than depend on another, it only gets a person into trouble and leave them with nothing. I am my own person and I'll rely on only myself. I mean come on, guys really like telling me I should be set on fire. Kind of funny when you think about it. XD Why put someone into the position of making such empty threats and just eliminate any possibilities.

For now, I'm going to be alone. These internet relationships with friends from back home are about all I can handle.

I'm going to try this again.

I haven't touched this thing in three years and honestly, I had completely forgotten about it. So I'm going to try to give blogging another attempt and see what happens. I was never known for keeping my commitments without someone making me...

So I'm now living in North Carolina and have been here since July. It's quiet and country, and massive change from the Cape Cod beaches I grew up with. At least know I can have real pets and I adore my kitten Delia. I rescued and asked an ex to name her, a slight mistake in hindsight. I don't do much of anything and have no social life whatsoever. The main downside of living in the country is the lack of people around. I'd love to have some friends to go out with but I generally end up staying home and watching too many forensic shows. As of now, I'm currently unemployed because my bitch of an ex manager fired me for "stealing" regardless of the fact I didn't actually do it, but whatever. Fuck her. I have an interview tomorrow and I have my fingers crossed. These past two and a half weeks have been awful. No job means no excuse to leave the house and no money to spend. I also took my entrance tests for the college this morning and starting in Jan. I'll be training to become a pharmacy tech. I'm starting to gt my life back on track and hopefully it continues like this and I actually become an adult.

I've been feeling pretty antisocial, bitter, and cold lately. I think too many bad relationships with bad guys have ruined my outlook on life. I don't open up as easily as I did was I was younger and I have noticed I'm bitchy off the bat, as if I need to do it before they have the chance. I'm much too defensive and I'm not liking it. It's gotten to the point that I've turned to the bottle I'm so sick of myself. I'm sort of hoping this random writing will be more therapy than those joke counsoling sessions I once made myself go to years ago. But I guess we'll have to see about that, you never know.

I'll end this here and perhaps I'll remember to check back in tomorrow.