I hate commitment. I hate feelings. I hate all that touchy feely romance shit.
I think I like someone. I enjoy spending time with him. I smile when I think of him.
It could be the sex. I'm going with the sex. I'm infatuated with lust and sex.
My mind is a state of utter confusion and irritation.
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
20 December 2011
01 October 2011
The Best Night I've Had In A Long Time
I just got home and it's just past 3am. But it's cool because I don't have work for fourteen hours give or take. I'm still slightly buzzed and elated from everything that just happened.
While at work, Erika and I decided that we were going out afterwards. We needed to plan my Halloween costume for the big party and maybe we wanted a drink. Or two. I was scheduled off before she was, but she had come in a few hours earlier, so fingers crossed we'd get out around the same time.
An hour of waiting, a phone call from the Momz, and we were off. Momz requested I picked her up at work since she was on the motorcycle and there was a thunderstorm abrewing. Completely understandable, and since we were only planning on going to our local 24hour Walmart, Erika and I didn't mind.
We took the trip back to my place, met Momz, who ended up just taking the coat I brought and decided to driver herself since the rain had stopped, back to my place to change into nicer clothes. Nice clothes meaning, clothes that aren't work clothes. Dressed in low cut shirts, wedge heels, and a touch of makeup, we drove the half hour trip back into town.
We made our first stop to Walmart and I found my costume. I'm going to be a fallen angel. I bought black wings, I might wear Erika's black corset, fishnets, heels. I'm just not sure about the bottoms. I can't decide what sort of skirt to wear. Frustrating. Now, to the bar!
Disclaimer: I'm still buzzed from the bar therefore this gets very explicit.
While at work, Erika and I decided that we were going out afterwards. We needed to plan my Halloween costume for the big party and maybe we wanted a drink. Or two. I was scheduled off before she was, but she had come in a few hours earlier, so fingers crossed we'd get out around the same time.
An hour of waiting, a phone call from the Momz, and we were off. Momz requested I picked her up at work since she was on the motorcycle and there was a thunderstorm abrewing. Completely understandable, and since we were only planning on going to our local 24hour Walmart, Erika and I didn't mind.
We took the trip back to my place, met Momz, who ended up just taking the coat I brought and decided to driver herself since the rain had stopped, back to my place to change into nicer clothes. Nice clothes meaning, clothes that aren't work clothes. Dressed in low cut shirts, wedge heels, and a touch of makeup, we drove the half hour trip back into town.
We made our first stop to Walmart and I found my costume. I'm going to be a fallen angel. I bought black wings, I might wear Erika's black corset, fishnets, heels. I'm just not sure about the bottoms. I can't decide what sort of skirt to wear. Frustrating. Now, to the bar!
21 September 2011
My Taste In Men Is The Worst
So. I apparently have a major issue with guys my own age. I either like guys my younger brother's age, which I won't touch because of the whole "you're only freshly legal thing and I don't feel like cradle robbing right now" mood of things. Or, I like guys way older. Like, in their thirties. I'm sure you remember that debacle with Jeremiah, my 31 year old hook up who ended up ruining the universe. Well... there's a new one I have my eye on. Who is, you guessed it, ten years my senior.
I happen to think he's absolutely gorgeous. He certainly doesn't look his age, I honestly judged him at 25 when I first met him. So. Chris is a week into the job and flirting with me, so I invited him to a party this past Friday night. I got out about 9, so I ended over to the party early and was the first one there as per my usual. I cracked open a beer and relaxed waiting for everyone else to get off work. Once a decent amount of people got there, the beer pong games started. Courtney and I won both our games and took bragging rights.
Once I was properly drunk, the closing shift showed up to the party. Which included Chris. I was pretty damn happy about that one. Some more drinking occurred, one or four blunts were passed around. I was basically glued to his side all night. I told him it was his job to keep me warm and giggled on the inside when his arm was around me. I told him straight out I thought he was hot and that people kept leaving us alone because of that.
I happen to think he's absolutely gorgeous. He certainly doesn't look his age, I honestly judged him at 25 when I first met him. So. Chris is a week into the job and flirting with me, so I invited him to a party this past Friday night. I got out about 9, so I ended over to the party early and was the first one there as per my usual. I cracked open a beer and relaxed waiting for everyone else to get off work. Once a decent amount of people got there, the beer pong games started. Courtney and I won both our games and took bragging rights.
Once I was properly drunk, the closing shift showed up to the party. Which included Chris. I was pretty damn happy about that one. Some more drinking occurred, one or four blunts were passed around. I was basically glued to his side all night. I told him it was his job to keep me warm and giggled on the inside when his arm was around me. I told him straight out I thought he was hot and that people kept leaving us alone because of that.
14 September 2011
Hometown Love
This past Thursday (now about two weeks because I'm a slacker), I had a blast from the past. A friend I've known for ten years but haven't seen in five, came for a visit. He's currently stationed at Fort Bragg, at least for another week, which is less than two hours away. So from Thursday to Sunday, I was in a hotel room with the awesome John.
I made him drive through the country backroads to get into town, just for the fun of it. Half way through the drive I get a text, "Where are we, Smallville?" I laughed to myself as we drive further into civilization. When we finally made it to the hotel and got ourselves situated, we ended up going for dinner and a movie. That night I had a new experience.
I was peer pressured. John had brought some e and I had never tried that before. I took a few hits, popped in a movie, and we waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing happened beside complaining about not feeling anything and slight footsie action. So, we took some more.
A few hours in, it hit. I felt like my nerve endings were more sensitive than ever before. Being cuddled in those covers were the most amazing feeling. Then there was the talking. It was never ending. I honestly did not shut up. When I became aware of my over talking, I would attempt to keep my mouth closed. But that only lasted about two seconds. The moment something entered my mind, it was out my mouth. Oh, and since this is me, there was sex involved.
The next day was pretty bad. I don't get hangovers, but I felt as if I was hungover. John and I spent a few hours at Erika's and we both felt ill the entire time. Work that night, was not fun to say the least. But the rest of the weekend was great. It was full of alcohol, sex, and fun.
You have no idea how great it was to be back around someone from Massachusetts. I could act like myself and not have to worry about offended someone. Talking, the comebacks came one after the other. It was pretty awesome.
So now my birthday bash... I'll spill that later.
I made him drive through the country backroads to get into town, just for the fun of it. Half way through the drive I get a text, "Where are we, Smallville?" I laughed to myself as we drive further into civilization. When we finally made it to the hotel and got ourselves situated, we ended up going for dinner and a movie. That night I had a new experience.
I was peer pressured. John had brought some e and I had never tried that before. I took a few hits, popped in a movie, and we waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing happened beside complaining about not feeling anything and slight footsie action. So, we took some more.
A few hours in, it hit. I felt like my nerve endings were more sensitive than ever before. Being cuddled in those covers were the most amazing feeling. Then there was the talking. It was never ending. I honestly did not shut up. When I became aware of my over talking, I would attempt to keep my mouth closed. But that only lasted about two seconds. The moment something entered my mind, it was out my mouth. Oh, and since this is me, there was sex involved.
The next day was pretty bad. I don't get hangovers, but I felt as if I was hungover. John and I spent a few hours at Erika's and we both felt ill the entire time. Work that night, was not fun to say the least. But the rest of the weekend was great. It was full of alcohol, sex, and fun.
You have no idea how great it was to be back around someone from Massachusetts. I could act like myself and not have to worry about offended someone. Talking, the comebacks came one after the other. It was pretty awesome.
So now my birthday bash... I'll spill that later.
09 July 2011
Busted Circadian Rhythms & Whore Delights
I'm delaying getting ready for work. I'm practically a zombie. My stupidity and my busted circadian rhythm wouldn't let me sleep until four hours ago. My schedule went all wacky this weekend and I ended up getting roped into working this morning.
My mood has been all crazy lately. It's been a rollercoaster. I was pissy yesterday morning due to a friend, but then surprisingly okay as the day wore on. But then I got to work and found out Melvin is now out of jail and he never let me know, like I asked him to. So I immediately texted, still haven't gotten an answer. That put me in a shit mood for the rest of the night. Which caused a headache. Hey gang, I apparently am famous for tension headaches. I guess I'm happy to finally know why I get headaches like no one's business, I just assumed I had a screwy brain.
With the headache, my ruined manicure, and a work rush, I was ready to punch someone. When I was finally allowed to have a smoke break, I just collapsed on the ground and dazed out. I talked to Tj some about why I was upset. No names of course, but I told him the guy I liked was being douchey and that I should probably stop going after douches. He responded that girls never give good guys, like him, a chance. I said, "Tj, I haven't gone after a good guy in years. Let alone given one a chance."
My mood has been all crazy lately. It's been a rollercoaster. I was pissy yesterday morning due to a friend, but then surprisingly okay as the day wore on. But then I got to work and found out Melvin is now out of jail and he never let me know, like I asked him to. So I immediately texted, still haven't gotten an answer. That put me in a shit mood for the rest of the night. Which caused a headache. Hey gang, I apparently am famous for tension headaches. I guess I'm happy to finally know why I get headaches like no one's business, I just assumed I had a screwy brain.
With the headache, my ruined manicure, and a work rush, I was ready to punch someone. When I was finally allowed to have a smoke break, I just collapsed on the ground and dazed out. I talked to Tj some about why I was upset. No names of course, but I told him the guy I liked was being douchey and that I should probably stop going after douches. He responded that girls never give good guys, like him, a chance. I said, "Tj, I haven't gone after a good guy in years. Let alone given one a chance."
01 July 2011
It's Been A Year...
So I was going to tell you all about boning Shane the other night. Because who doesn't love a good sex story? Perhaps you're tired of hearing about me whoring my way through life, maybe you're just jealous, but regardless I decided to skip that. Mainly because today is too epic.
Yes. More epic than sex.
It's officially one year since I left Cape Cod and moved to North Carolina. A whole fucking year. It's crazy. And what have I accomplished? Honestly, not much. I did pass my pharmacy technician class, though I haven't gotten a job in a pharmacy yet. I've whored around, got drunk a lot, got a few pets. It's been a weird year, but that's pretty damn fine with me. My dull year is what got me back into blogging and I'm so happy I did! I've met cool people through both the Shop and 20sb. Some friendships I hope I never lose, because you guys are badass. Us blogger types are just too awesome.
Yes. More epic than sex.
It's officially one year since I left Cape Cod and moved to North Carolina. A whole fucking year. It's crazy. And what have I accomplished? Honestly, not much. I did pass my pharmacy technician class, though I haven't gotten a job in a pharmacy yet. I've whored around, got drunk a lot, got a few pets. It's been a weird year, but that's pretty damn fine with me. My dull year is what got me back into blogging and I'm so happy I did! I've met cool people through both the Shop and 20sb. Some friendships I hope I never lose, because you guys are badass. Us blogger types are just too awesome.
So here's some stuff that happened this year!
19 June 2011
I Love My Cock
I went to Andy's once again yesterday. As per my usual, I showed up first. But I helped him clean the house. I feel bad crashing there all the time, trashing the place, so I did his dishes and looked after B, his son. That kid is awesome. He's going to be the most badass kid when he grows up. I was drinking Ice 101 and chocolate milk, seriously try it. Tastes like mint chocolate milk, epic. I gave B the teeniest sip of it and he loved it surprisingly. When I made him a glass of strawberry milk later and asked how it was, you know what that ba kid said? "It would be better with peppermint."
Melvin showed up a little bit later bearing bags of booze for the night. Melvin and Andy bribed me into taking a shot of Hennessey. My god, I was telling them how much I hated them for a while. Andy was making the world's greatest spaghetti and I wasn't allowed to eat that until I drank some coke and Hennessey. I swear they were just trying to get me drunk even though they knew I wasn't going to be spending the night. That spaghetti was bomb, yo. Needless to say I was pretty buzzed by the time other people showed up. We got a good crowd going, running out of room for all the cars. We rode the elephant for a while, messing me up even more. =D Now we get to the interesting part of my night...
Melvin showed up a little bit later bearing bags of booze for the night. Melvin and Andy bribed me into taking a shot of Hennessey. My god, I was telling them how much I hated them for a while. Andy was making the world's greatest spaghetti and I wasn't allowed to eat that until I drank some coke and Hennessey. I swear they were just trying to get me drunk even though they knew I wasn't going to be spending the night. That spaghetti was bomb, yo. Needless to say I was pretty buzzed by the time other people showed up. We got a good crowd going, running out of room for all the cars. We rode the elephant for a while, messing me up even more. =D Now we get to the interesting part of my night...
16 June 2011
I Say Vag A Lot
I'm sitting here all decked out, in a sleepy way. I had another proposed date tonight, but stood up once again. That boy is officially on my shit list. But I'm wearing my best, laciest lingerie, boxers, shirt that all but shows off said lacy bra, and my hair is all wavy and beautiful. I pulled out all the stops for tonight but when he was thirty minutes late I gave up and drove home. Apparently I'm only worth his joke. Aw shucks.
It's got me thinking even more about the relationship bullshit we put ourselves through. Putting so much effort into something that's probably just going to implode somewhere down the line. So I would like to welcome back and introduce you all to Cold, Heartless Bitch Jess. I missed her and I know you'll all love her. She ditched the black pit that was once her heart and only thinks with her vag. And has shittons of fun while she's at it.
I haven't really used my alter ego since moving and damn am I ready for it. I began to a few weeks ago. I'm sure you all remember. Stalker to Jeremiah to Shane, who by the way I need to call. God that boy is just what I need right now. String free boning. Yes please! I stopped using her to try and keep my numbers down. That was a wicked funny celibacy stint, SO glad I kicked that. My vag was becoming quite sick of Fernando. He might be good for a quick fix during a lonely night, but nowhere near as good as the real thing. Batteries only go so far. And obviously doesn't beat me. I would prefer to be bruised up just a tad, please? Haha, sex deprivation is sinking in quickly. I may have to call Shane tomorrow after work. XD
Rantrantrant. I'm just all over the place tonight, and I swear I'm sober. Promise. Pinky swear. Satisfied? Good. Now moral of the story? Always put your vag first. =]
It's got me thinking even more about the relationship bullshit we put ourselves through. Putting so much effort into something that's probably just going to implode somewhere down the line. So I would like to welcome back and introduce you all to Cold, Heartless Bitch Jess. I missed her and I know you'll all love her. She ditched the black pit that was once her heart and only thinks with her vag. And has shittons of fun while she's at it.
I haven't really used my alter ego since moving and damn am I ready for it. I began to a few weeks ago. I'm sure you all remember. Stalker to Jeremiah to Shane, who by the way I need to call. God that boy is just what I need right now. String free boning. Yes please! I stopped using her to try and keep my numbers down. That was a wicked funny celibacy stint, SO glad I kicked that. My vag was becoming quite sick of Fernando. He might be good for a quick fix during a lonely night, but nowhere near as good as the real thing. Batteries only go so far. And obviously doesn't beat me. I would prefer to be bruised up just a tad, please? Haha, sex deprivation is sinking in quickly. I may have to call Shane tomorrow after work. XD
Rantrantrant. I'm just all over the place tonight, and I swear I'm sober. Promise. Pinky swear. Satisfied? Good. Now moral of the story? Always put your vag first. =]
10 June 2011
Operation Distracted Heart
This is now a full fledged mission and I may need help, because frankly, I'm doing an awful job. I still lay awake at night thinking about him. Ugh. I've been having long talks with my best friends hoping to get some insight. My best friends are all in different phases on the love cycle. I have the happily in love commited bestie, the never had a date bestie, and the I'm sick of men and I just want to screw bestie. Every single one of them assures me I'm not going crazy and that it's okay I'm trying to distract myself. Apparently sex is fun so Shane is good to keep, I should give Michael a chance, and Mike Pop is Mike Pop and we all love him regardless. As for Nick... that's where there's different opinions. I'm either to never talk to him again so I can move on or just be friends since I personally hate not having him in my life.
Work today, sucked. I wanted to punch Jeremiah in the face and spit on the mangled remains. He had the nerve to fucking snap at me for doing my job. Thankfully the supervisor was standing right there and snapped at him considering I was doing what I was supposed to. I was more than happy that I had to close so he could go early. I wasn't the only one getting fed up with him. I'm not sure how much more of his attitude I can handle before I snap and beat the shit out of him. He's on probation. I can punch him and he'd go to jail if he hit me back. So very tempting.
To delay going home and sitting here in front of my computer, I went to Shane's. I didn't get off work until 10:30 and he has work in the morning so I couldn't stay long. I went in, took off my shoes, put a condom in my bra, and walked into his room. I took off his shirt between kisses, threw him onto the bed, ripped off his pants. I was kind of on a mission. I didn't want anything on my mind. I took off my clothes until I was standing in front of him in just my sexiest lingerie and smiled before I went down on him, like I said, mission. I tossed him the condom, took off my lingerie, and climbed on top. I'll just say we moved through a few different positions, I was choked, spanked, beaten really. I needed to be abused, I feel like I need to be. And seriously, Shane breaks me. I honestly think he's ripping apart my insides, I end up bleeding slightly each time. I left immediately after I got dressed, out by 11pm.
I'm sure all of you know by now how lucky I am. I'm driving home, pretty damn sore, and screaming songs at the top of my lungs. And which song comes on? This one.
This is the song I dedicated to him, to Nick. Of course the universe made me think of him immediately after doing something so extreme to forget him. I don't know, maybe he was right when he said fate and soul mates. I believed him then and have been trying to prove it wrong since he ended it. All I know is I'm done with the universe trying to keep me miserable. I've been through enough, right?
In further effort to distract myself, I'm not coming home tomorrow night. After work, I'm going over to Andy's for a cook out and drinking until I can't stand. I find myself drinking more and more, the fear of being an alcoholic becoming more possible and likely. Fuck it, at least it'll keep me numb for a while. If Jeremiah's at the party, shit's probably going down. Though no one wants him there so he might not... hopefully. Then I have that date Saturday morning, if I wake up. I have a feeling I might stand him up just because I'll be too drunk to wake up. I'll have to set a shit load of alarms to be sure.
Work today, sucked. I wanted to punch Jeremiah in the face and spit on the mangled remains. He had the nerve to fucking snap at me for doing my job. Thankfully the supervisor was standing right there and snapped at him considering I was doing what I was supposed to. I was more than happy that I had to close so he could go early. I wasn't the only one getting fed up with him. I'm not sure how much more of his attitude I can handle before I snap and beat the shit out of him. He's on probation. I can punch him and he'd go to jail if he hit me back. So very tempting.
To delay going home and sitting here in front of my computer, I went to Shane's. I didn't get off work until 10:30 and he has work in the morning so I couldn't stay long. I went in, took off my shoes, put a condom in my bra, and walked into his room. I took off his shirt between kisses, threw him onto the bed, ripped off his pants. I was kind of on a mission. I didn't want anything on my mind. I took off my clothes until I was standing in front of him in just my sexiest lingerie and smiled before I went down on him, like I said, mission. I tossed him the condom, took off my lingerie, and climbed on top. I'll just say we moved through a few different positions, I was choked, spanked, beaten really. I needed to be abused, I feel like I need to be. And seriously, Shane breaks me. I honestly think he's ripping apart my insides, I end up bleeding slightly each time. I left immediately after I got dressed, out by 11pm.
I'm sure all of you know by now how lucky I am. I'm driving home, pretty damn sore, and screaming songs at the top of my lungs. And which song comes on? This one.
This is the song I dedicated to him, to Nick. Of course the universe made me think of him immediately after doing something so extreme to forget him. I don't know, maybe he was right when he said fate and soul mates. I believed him then and have been trying to prove it wrong since he ended it. All I know is I'm done with the universe trying to keep me miserable. I've been through enough, right?
In further effort to distract myself, I'm not coming home tomorrow night. After work, I'm going over to Andy's for a cook out and drinking until I can't stand. I find myself drinking more and more, the fear of being an alcoholic becoming more possible and likely. Fuck it, at least it'll keep me numb for a while. If Jeremiah's at the party, shit's probably going down. Though no one wants him there so he might not... hopefully. Then I have that date Saturday morning, if I wake up. I have a feeling I might stand him up just because I'll be too drunk to wake up. I'll have to set a shit load of alarms to be sure.
06 June 2011
Rum, Whiskey, Beer, Tequila, & Condoms
It's finally my day off and I can spill on my adventures since I blogged Wednesday night. Of course there is much more booze, sex, laughter, and a few urges to punch someone in the face. I've officially decided that while I have no clue where my life is going, I'm okay with it. I've also decided to fuck that pc no name bullshit I was going with because all the initials are getting confusing to me and I know the people, I have no clue how all you are surviving and keep my adventures straight.
Thursday morning I woke up early feeling like my insides were ripped apart the night before, in a good way. Shane, formally known as the cute boy from class, seriously knows his shit and may or may not have caused me to bleed slightly from a punctured already misformed uterus. So I got dressed and drove my little bum to work and explained to Andy, A, that I needed to get off early. Leaving work at 6 when my final is 6:30 is not preferrable when school was across town and there's tons of construction traffic going down. Thankfully he understood and Alysia agreed to come in early so I left at 5. I'm sure Jeremiah, J, was more than thrilled I was leaving just as he was getting there. I sat outside in the wonderful sunshine in my stinky work clothes and studied.
When I went in and sat down in front of the computer, I was just slightly dreading the next two hours. I read the lists of drugs we were supposed to memorize that I didn't even knew existed until just three days prior and freaked out just a little. The class filed in one by one, I stuck my tongue out at Shane when he arrived and waited for the instructions. Once actually taking the final, it wasn't so bad. I actually knew some of the drugs and the questions were only slightly tricky. I ended with a 89 on the final and a 95 in the course. Pretty damn good if I say so myself. I got a fancy certificate for passing and we all booked it out. I talked to Shane for a bit but we went our separate ways, though we drove in the same direction for a while. XD
Friday: Another day shift, another day waking up early. I decided I wanted to go to a party so Andy and Rachel, R, decided to make it happen. Once I got out, I added up my tips, bought rum, pineapple juice, and drove to Andy's. Sam was already there and she was helping Andy clean since his mom was coming with a car for him since his went caput a while ago. She didn't stay long so out came the booze. Rachel came over not much later, so shots of whiskey started. My total count for the night was five shots of whiskey and four rum and pineapple where the rum was getting stronger and stronger. More and more coworkers showed up, Jessica and Tj, which only added to the amount of children running around. Talk of Alysia and Jeremiah coming arose and everyone made it clear that he couldn't start shit with me or he'd be kicked out. But of course he couldn't act mature.
Thursday morning I woke up early feeling like my insides were ripped apart the night before, in a good way. Shane, formally known as the cute boy from class, seriously knows his shit and may or may not have caused me to bleed slightly from a punctured already misformed uterus. So I got dressed and drove my little bum to work and explained to Andy, A, that I needed to get off early. Leaving work at 6 when my final is 6:30 is not preferrable when school was across town and there's tons of construction traffic going down. Thankfully he understood and Alysia agreed to come in early so I left at 5. I'm sure Jeremiah, J, was more than thrilled I was leaving just as he was getting there. I sat outside in the wonderful sunshine in my stinky work clothes and studied.
When I went in and sat down in front of the computer, I was just slightly dreading the next two hours. I read the lists of drugs we were supposed to memorize that I didn't even knew existed until just three days prior and freaked out just a little. The class filed in one by one, I stuck my tongue out at Shane when he arrived and waited for the instructions. Once actually taking the final, it wasn't so bad. I actually knew some of the drugs and the questions were only slightly tricky. I ended with a 89 on the final and a 95 in the course. Pretty damn good if I say so myself. I got a fancy certificate for passing and we all booked it out. I talked to Shane for a bit but we went our separate ways, though we drove in the same direction for a while. XD
Friday: Another day shift, another day waking up early. I decided I wanted to go to a party so Andy and Rachel, R, decided to make it happen. Once I got out, I added up my tips, bought rum, pineapple juice, and drove to Andy's. Sam was already there and she was helping Andy clean since his mom was coming with a car for him since his went caput a while ago. She didn't stay long so out came the booze. Rachel came over not much later, so shots of whiskey started. My total count for the night was five shots of whiskey and four rum and pineapple where the rum was getting stronger and stronger. More and more coworkers showed up, Jessica and Tj, which only added to the amount of children running around. Talk of Alysia and Jeremiah coming arose and everyone made it clear that he couldn't start shit with me or he'd be kicked out. But of course he couldn't act mature.
02 June 2011
Of Course
I should call this blog "The Life & Times of a Vag". Because I'm itching to tell you my latest sexcapades. I'm still tingling from the adventure, though that might still be all that spice I smoked.
Of course the cute boy in class flirts with me on the last day. We were on the same team for the Who Wants to be a Millionaire style study game to review for the final tomorrow night. During the break we both went outside for a smoke and started talking. He asked if I studied with anyone from class and I said I haven't since I stopped being friends with another girl in class. So of course he suggested we study together and we exchanged numbers.
Once class was over, we decided to go to his place since it was the most convenient. We stopped to get some beer and got comfy at his house. Seriously, comfiest couch ever. Like legit. We drank some, smoked some, then he kissed me and we made out like crazy. I got pretty damn high, and I don't smoke often. I'm still feeling that shit. Of course we ended up in his bedroom, just like he said. That cocky bastard, haha. Though that was part of the allure, I love some confidence in a man. And did I mention the body? All muscly and hawt. Arms like oh my god, stomach like holy shit, and an adorable ass. Seeing that boy in the nude is a wonderful, wonderful sight.
Being thrown on his bed, choked, and boned like no tomorrow... I'm pretty sure he broke me. My period ended yesterday, and I was bleeding again. I have been punctured and it felt amazing. Of course we needed a second go around. Of course this is going to happen again. He is deff my new favorite playmate. We did talk and hang out, so there is the beginning of a friendship there. But mostly I do not want to keep my hands off him. Got to love just falling into lust and acting crazy.
I loooooove ruining one guy's day the same time I'm making anothers. =]
Of course the cute boy in class flirts with me on the last day. We were on the same team for the Who Wants to be a Millionaire style study game to review for the final tomorrow night. During the break we both went outside for a smoke and started talking. He asked if I studied with anyone from class and I said I haven't since I stopped being friends with another girl in class. So of course he suggested we study together and we exchanged numbers.
Once class was over, we decided to go to his place since it was the most convenient. We stopped to get some beer and got comfy at his house. Seriously, comfiest couch ever. Like legit. We drank some, smoked some, then he kissed me and we made out like crazy. I got pretty damn high, and I don't smoke often. I'm still feeling that shit. Of course we ended up in his bedroom, just like he said. That cocky bastard, haha. Though that was part of the allure, I love some confidence in a man. And did I mention the body? All muscly and hawt. Arms like oh my god, stomach like holy shit, and an adorable ass. Seeing that boy in the nude is a wonderful, wonderful sight.
Being thrown on his bed, choked, and boned like no tomorrow... I'm pretty sure he broke me. My period ended yesterday, and I was bleeding again. I have been punctured and it felt amazing. Of course we needed a second go around. Of course this is going to happen again. He is deff my new favorite playmate. We did talk and hang out, so there is the beginning of a friendship there. But mostly I do not want to keep my hands off him. Got to love just falling into lust and acting crazy.
I loooooove ruining one guy's day the same time I'm making anothers. =]
24 May 2011
Friend Zoned
Girl got friend zoned. Same day as the best sex ever. Kind of a buzz kill. Really. I've summarized this story so many times in the last few days to give bits and pieces to the people who know what's going on. Like the people that saw us making out. But let's get into this.
It's Friday morning. I wake up to my alarm at 4am. I'm honestly surprised I'm awake since J kept me up texting until past 2am. I get dressed, shaving my legs and putting on my good lingerie. Grabbing my stuff for the next day, I walk out my door and get into my car. I drive down my dirt road and call J as I pull out the actual roads with actual pavement. He doesn't answer. Sometimes men make me laugh, they tell you to call when you're on your way to wake them up and they don't answer. I call him about eight times on the half hour drive and still get no answer. Pulling up to his house, I get out and walk over to the tent trying not to die in the prickers. Once I'm standing outside the tent, I call him once more to laugh as I hear his phone ringing from two feet in front of me.
Still laughing, I unzip the tent and slipping out of my shoes, I step inside. I sit down and nudge him. I giggle to myself as he slowly wakes up with more and more nudging. Eventually when he's coherent enough, I crawl in next to him and we cuddle for a bit. We begin to kiss after a while and it doesn't take long for it to get heated. Once we get into it, we slip our hands south and pants come undone. We give way into some manual play, enjoying ourselves quite a bit. I'm feeling in a giving mood for some strange reason, so I go down on him. That doesn't happen often, I'm pretty greedy. I tease him for a while before I stop and go back to kissing him. After this, it takes no time for pants to be gone, my shirt gone. Well, I took off my shirt because I was not enjoying the whole bra tangled in shirt thing going on in my face. Me being naked pretty much sealed the deal.
It's Friday morning. I wake up to my alarm at 4am. I'm honestly surprised I'm awake since J kept me up texting until past 2am. I get dressed, shaving my legs and putting on my good lingerie. Grabbing my stuff for the next day, I walk out my door and get into my car. I drive down my dirt road and call J as I pull out the actual roads with actual pavement. He doesn't answer. Sometimes men make me laugh, they tell you to call when you're on your way to wake them up and they don't answer. I call him about eight times on the half hour drive and still get no answer. Pulling up to his house, I get out and walk over to the tent trying not to die in the prickers. Once I'm standing outside the tent, I call him once more to laugh as I hear his phone ringing from two feet in front of me.
Still laughing, I unzip the tent and slipping out of my shoes, I step inside. I sit down and nudge him. I giggle to myself as he slowly wakes up with more and more nudging. Eventually when he's coherent enough, I crawl in next to him and we cuddle for a bit. We begin to kiss after a while and it doesn't take long for it to get heated. Once we get into it, we slip our hands south and pants come undone. We give way into some manual play, enjoying ourselves quite a bit. I'm feeling in a giving mood for some strange reason, so I go down on him. That doesn't happen often, I'm pretty greedy. I tease him for a while before I stop and go back to kissing him. After this, it takes no time for pants to be gone, my shirt gone. Well, I took off my shirt because I was not enjoying the whole bra tangled in shirt thing going on in my face. Me being naked pretty much sealed the deal.
14 May 2011
I Hate Myself
I'm finally home after two days and I've washed off the scent of regret. Hopefully I won't cry myself to sleep again tonight or cause another coworker to quit. It's been a tough day to say the least.
I had a date last night. We went to a fun restaurant where the waiter was an adorable gay man and had delicious drinks. I was buzzed by the time I was too stuffed to continue eating. I actually had a good time and we decided to continue the night. We bought more drinks and went to my nana's empty house to watch movies. He immediately tried cuddling with me, kissing me on the cheek and head while I was hanging on to my drink for dear life. Every time he went for my hand I said I was holding hands with my bottle every time he tried to kiss me, I'd turn my head. Eventually though I did give in, made out for two seconds, he choked me, ate me out. I refused to let him touch me afterwards. I was slightly ashamed.
The night contined with the movie. Eventually we cuddled on the couch and I let him stay in the guest bed with me. We hooked up. I had sex with Coworker and I hate myself for it. The second it ended, which was when I pushed him off, I left and shut myself in the bathroom. I immediately started crying. I felt so horrible and mixed up. I'm still in love with someone else and I just boned a guy. I'm horrible. I slept in my nana's room and cried myself to sleep. Violent, heart breaking sobs. I honestly felt so low on the social scale that I didn't feel like I deserved any compassion for the pain I was feeling. When I woke up, he kept asking if I was mad at him. I simply said I was mad at myself and told him to go to work.
Work was awkward to say the least. I didn't want to talk to him, so I kept giving him one word answers. Towards the end of the night, J suddenly asked me what I did to make Coworker quit. I was so confused, I mean this just happened last night. I was teased for the remainder of the night, I got more than one funny looks. Though that could be about the hickey I desperately tried to cover with a pound of coverup. I was later told he was bragging about his back because of the scratches. I was pretty pissed.
I had a date last night. We went to a fun restaurant where the waiter was an adorable gay man and had delicious drinks. I was buzzed by the time I was too stuffed to continue eating. I actually had a good time and we decided to continue the night. We bought more drinks and went to my nana's empty house to watch movies. He immediately tried cuddling with me, kissing me on the cheek and head while I was hanging on to my drink for dear life. Every time he went for my hand I said I was holding hands with my bottle every time he tried to kiss me, I'd turn my head. Eventually though I did give in, made out for two seconds, he choked me, ate me out. I refused to let him touch me afterwards. I was slightly ashamed.
The night contined with the movie. Eventually we cuddled on the couch and I let him stay in the guest bed with me. We hooked up. I had sex with Coworker and I hate myself for it. The second it ended, which was when I pushed him off, I left and shut myself in the bathroom. I immediately started crying. I felt so horrible and mixed up. I'm still in love with someone else and I just boned a guy. I'm horrible. I slept in my nana's room and cried myself to sleep. Violent, heart breaking sobs. I honestly felt so low on the social scale that I didn't feel like I deserved any compassion for the pain I was feeling. When I woke up, he kept asking if I was mad at him. I simply said I was mad at myself and told him to go to work.
Work was awkward to say the least. I didn't want to talk to him, so I kept giving him one word answers. Towards the end of the night, J suddenly asked me what I did to make Coworker quit. I was so confused, I mean this just happened last night. I was teased for the remainder of the night, I got more than one funny looks. Though that could be about the hickey I desperately tried to cover with a pound of coverup. I was later told he was bragging about his back because of the scratches. I was pretty pissed.
12 May 2011
100 Deep
Welcome to my 100th post on this little blog of mine. It's taken me almost four years but we did it. I'm not sure how much I accomplished with this but I stuck to it after some coaxing. I started off as an overly emotional teen looking for an outlet and now I'm an emotionally confused young adult trying to figure out life.
If you've ever read my few posts from 2007, you'd know I was a young girl in love that didn't understand why life never went my way. I was with my ex fiancee and so in love, but the warning sides of the crumbling relationship had begun to show. I didn't have much friends, since I wans't exactly allowed them. We fought constantly and I felt worse off with him than I would without me. There were good times, but those were rare and far between. I really wish I had stuck with this, might have helped me out a lot.
Here's some excerpts from the early days.
I came back this past December and I've been posting pretty regularly, with the exception of my sans internet days in January. I've blogged about silly topics with the attempt to keep your attention, from zombies to serial killers. When it comes to real topics, there's been everything from loneliness to heartbreak to love. At this point in time I've been overcome with heartbreak and I'm back to the emotionally confused individual you all know and love. Emotions freak me out and I try to keep people at a distance. I blame Mike, I honestly do.
I'm paranoid, untrusting, and the slightest interest in me freaks me out. Take Coworker, we're going on a date tomorrow and I'm freaking. He's completely interested in me and I can't handle the attention. Despite the fact I'm in love with someone else that I can't be with, I just can't get my head around this situation. He's tried putting his arm around me a few times and I shy away. I just act awkward and stare at the ground. I honestly feel bad regardless of the fact I have explained to him multiple times he'll need to be patient with me. But we'll see how it all goes.
Knowing me I'll just bone his brains out and send him on his way. The physical is the only thing I have been able to handle these past few years. But this is me, I can't even begin to hide it.
Here's some excerpts from the early days.
Mike means everything to me and I'm so happy I have him. He's the best thing I could have ever hoped for. He treats me the way only the most special girls deserve. I'm so happy he's considering going to South Carolina with me. It makes everything so much easier. And he's completely ecsatic about the fact that he now has a job and will have money on a regular basis, a good chunk too. I love him more than anything and I always will. And he claims that he will never find anyone that he loves more than me. Which, is the best thing I have ever heard.
Everything is beginning to fall apart and I no longer know what to do anymore. I feel as if I should question anything and everything that is happening but also feel like I should just cave in. Somehow everything seems to be my fault and I don't do anything. All I do is go to school, work, and hang out with Mike. But yet I'm the cause of everyone's problems. ... It just seems so hard to keep this going when all everyone does is talk about me behind my back spreading all these rumors that aren't true. I'm honestly not sure what he does and does not believe. I think the vision he had of me has changed for the worse and that I'll no longer seem worthy to him in his eyes. It feels so horrible to have no one to talk to anymore. There is no one for me to vent with and I'm forced to keep half of all this to myself. I can't exactly tell him that I feel this way. That would just make me seem insecure and helpless.I disappeared for three years. Mainly because I forgot about this. I forgot about most anything related to my writing, it was easier that way.
I came back this past December and I've been posting pretty regularly, with the exception of my sans internet days in January. I've blogged about silly topics with the attempt to keep your attention, from zombies to serial killers. When it comes to real topics, there's been everything from loneliness to heartbreak to love. At this point in time I've been overcome with heartbreak and I'm back to the emotionally confused individual you all know and love. Emotions freak me out and I try to keep people at a distance. I blame Mike, I honestly do.
I'm paranoid, untrusting, and the slightest interest in me freaks me out. Take Coworker, we're going on a date tomorrow and I'm freaking. He's completely interested in me and I can't handle the attention. Despite the fact I'm in love with someone else that I can't be with, I just can't get my head around this situation. He's tried putting his arm around me a few times and I shy away. I just act awkward and stare at the ground. I honestly feel bad regardless of the fact I have explained to him multiple times he'll need to be patient with me. But we'll see how it all goes.
Knowing me I'll just bone his brains out and send him on his way. The physical is the only thing I have been able to handle these past few years. But this is me, I can't even begin to hide it.
27 April 2011
Who Knocked Me Up?
I created an imaginary show as an inside joke for my friends and I, mainly because I've had more than one pregnancy scare in my sexually active past. This story is my favorite. So...
On tonight's episode of Who Knocked Me Up? was it the straightedge boyfriend? Or was it his best friend? Stay tuned to find out...
Once upon a time, Jess met a boy off the internet who seemed absolutely delightful. They lived about twenty miles apart, but the main center of Cape Cod was in the middle creating a mutual hang out. After talking for a little while and sharing random facts about each other, like the fact he was Straightedge and she had snakebites, they agreed to meet for a movie.
Jess went to the mall after work and went to the bookstore since she needed new manga. While looking at manga and texting Straightedge, Jess noticed someone standing behind her. When it began to freak her out, she went to pay at the register. More texting occurred and both came to the realization that it was indeed Straightedge standing behind her and they laughed. They walked to the movies at the other end of the mall, chatting to get over the awkward feelings that lingered from meeting someone you met off the internet.
On tonight's episode of Who Knocked Me Up? was it the straightedge boyfriend? Or was it his best friend? Stay tuned to find out...
Once upon a time, Jess met a boy off the internet who seemed absolutely delightful. They lived about twenty miles apart, but the main center of Cape Cod was in the middle creating a mutual hang out. After talking for a little while and sharing random facts about each other, like the fact he was Straightedge and she had snakebites, they agreed to meet for a movie.
Jess went to the mall after work and went to the bookstore since she needed new manga. While looking at manga and texting Straightedge, Jess noticed someone standing behind her. When it began to freak her out, she went to pay at the register. More texting occurred and both came to the realization that it was indeed Straightedge standing behind her and they laughed. They walked to the movies at the other end of the mall, chatting to get over the awkward feelings that lingered from meeting someone you met off the internet.
26 April 2011
Well, That's Different.
I was in the Shop like every day and one thread turned to sex, the good ones usually do. This spawned the conversation about different fetishes. It was requested I make a post about mine, here you go.
*Disclaimer: This post is going to get wicked weird and personal. The weak heart need not read further. I also want you to keep in mind in no way do I force any of my interests on the unwilling partner. I've gotten pretty good at quieting my interests.*
20 March 2011
My Mind's Buzzing
Well it's almost midnight and I can't sleep so I'm obviously blogging. There's way too much on my mind for me to actually sleep, though I haven't been getting much of that lately. All my dreams are filled with that alternate reality I've cooked up for myself. It certainly beats my life at the moment.
But here's what's currently on my mind:
Cape Cod
My friends back in Mass
Hearing about my new job
Job shadow Tuesday
Class Tuesday
Five to fifty songs playing in my head
Sex
Losing weight
Am I cute enough for Southern boys?
Crush from home
Crush from class
If I managed to narrow that down to one topic, I'll have a more enjoyable post.
But here's what's currently on my mind:
Cape Cod
My friends back in Mass
Hearing about my new job
Job shadow Tuesday
Class Tuesday
Five to fifty songs playing in my head
Sex
Losing weight
Am I cute enough for Southern boys?
Crush from home
Crush from class
If I managed to narrow that down to one topic, I'll have a more enjoyable post.
13 March 2011
My Dirty Little Secret
I'm posting for the second day in a row. It's a fucking miracle. I've decided to post in secret every time Mom goes to work. You, my loyal followers, will be my dirty little secret. I hope that gives you a sort of sick thrill, I know I have chills thinking about it.
Hve you ever been someone's secret? Or had a secret someone of your own? Let me tell you, it adds that extra spice of something being so wrong it's delicious. Having your heart beat faster because you know you need to watch your surroundings, just in case someone overhears. My dirty little secret, well honestly it wasn't all that secret, everyone knew. Except for one, one of my best friends. See, she had liked the same boy I had, so I lied about it. Especially since she had already slept with him and of course I didn't have plans that very night to make out in my dorm room. It felt so naughty to have to fudge my numbers with her. She thought we were tied with the number of sexual partners we each had, but I was ahead by one. She couldn't know about the late night parties and the following drunken sex everyone could hear. The later threesome that still has myself and the friend involved laughing.
So I encourage all of you to have a secret someone of your own. Add some excitement to your lives.
Hve you ever been someone's secret? Or had a secret someone of your own? Let me tell you, it adds that extra spice of something being so wrong it's delicious. Having your heart beat faster because you know you need to watch your surroundings, just in case someone overhears. My dirty little secret, well honestly it wasn't all that secret, everyone knew. Except for one, one of my best friends. See, she had liked the same boy I had, so I lied about it. Especially since she had already slept with him and of course I didn't have plans that very night to make out in my dorm room. It felt so naughty to have to fudge my numbers with her. She thought we were tied with the number of sexual partners we each had, but I was ahead by one. She couldn't know about the late night parties and the following drunken sex everyone could hear. The later threesome that still has myself and the friend involved laughing.
So I encourage all of you to have a secret someone of your own. Add some excitement to your lives.
28 December 2010
The Post Where I Get Way Too Personal
This post is going to be decievingly short. I feel like I need to put my page break way near the beginning just in case I have a few touchy or young readers. Believe me, this post is not going to be about my cute kitten. At least not the one on the My Life page. So be forewarned that this post is not intended for the light hearted.
Have you ever had a completely random, slightly anonymous romp in the sheets? Well I have. I mean, I must have or this post would've been wicked short. This is going to be the recounting of my most recent encounter, and quite possibly the hottest.
Have you ever had a completely random, slightly anonymous romp in the sheets? Well I have. I mean, I must have or this post would've been wicked short. This is going to be the recounting of my most recent encounter, and quite possibly the hottest.
21 December 2010
The Witching Hour: The Explicit Version
It is now 1:34am and I should be sleeping. I have last minute shopping to do in the morning as I haven't gotten my brother a thing. Thank god I'm single, I couldn't handle another giftee. He'll most likely end up with a video game and I'll end up with a new pair of shoes. Because I deserve that little extra.
So what am I thinking about at this late hour? Well, what else would I be thinking?! If you know me at all, you know the answer. This is just going to be a rant adding to my previous post. But it has been three months afterall. A girl has her needs!! Fuck dry spells, and fuck people around here. Seriously, beauty standards don't change that much across state lines.
So what am I thinking about at this late hour? Well, what else would I be thinking?! If you know me at all, you know the answer. This is just going to be a rant adding to my previous post. But it has been three months afterall. A girl has her needs!! Fuck dry spells, and fuck people around here. Seriously, beauty standards don't change that much across state lines.
*Caution: This is about to get pretty graphic*
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