The Best Night I've Had In A Long Time

I just got home and it's just past 3am. But it's cool because I don't have work for fourteen hours give or take. I'm still slightly buzzed and elated from everything that just happened.

Disclaimer: I'm still buzzed from the bar therefore this gets very explicit.

While at work, Erika and I decided that we were going out afterwards. We needed to plan my Halloween costume for the big party and maybe we wanted a drink. Or two. I was scheduled off before she was, but she had come in a few hours earlier, so fingers crossed we'd get out around the same time.

An hour of waiting, a phone call from the Momz, and we were off. Momz requested I picked her up at work since she was on the motorcycle and there was a thunderstorm abrewing. Completely understandable, and since we were only planning on going to our local 24hour Walmart, Erika and I didn't mind.

We took the trip back to my place, met Momz, who ended up just taking the coat I brought and decided to driver herself since the rain had stopped, back to my place to change into nicer clothes. Nice clothes meaning, clothes that aren't work clothes. Dressed in low cut shirts, wedge heels, and a touch of makeup, we drove the half hour trip back into town.

We made our first stop to Walmart and I found my costume. I'm going to be a fallen angel. I bought black wings, I might wear Erika's black corset, fishnets, heels. I'm just not sure about the bottoms. I can't decide what sort of skirt to wear. Frustrating. Now, to the bar!

Drunk, Me That Is OH & Bastards

Oh hi there, I didn't see you. No, I actually did, I promise. I'm just slightly buzzed and I'm pretty sure I'm actually typing with a sort of normalcy. I'm going to pretend I'm not going to ramble and completely butcher this story I'm trying to tell you. It's pretty weird. Like, really. Okay... Let's start shall we?

Okay. So I wrote a little something something about this key player just the other day. It must be like, karma or something that he would try and talk to me. And me just being like FUCKIT talking back. So the dreaded ex fiancee, because I was totes cool and got engaged in high school because I thought it was trueloveforeveryo, facebook messaged me. He even made a point to say he had no motive in talking to me, just wanted to say hi, though he did ever so subtly mention the "wife". Psh, like I need to fricken know about you and your wife. Psh, PSH. That's right, PSH. I barely made coherent sentences then, or now.

But, I flirted with a cute sentry tonight, watched a trash can be whipped out a room, and called ma'am multiple times. Silly Camp Johnson and the silly things you Marines do. OH, and a coworker totes thought I was sixteen. We were talking about the crappy night and I said I just wanted a beer. He agreed and I said I would have to pick some up on the way home because I didn't have any. He's all like, "You can buy beer?" "Um, yeah. I'm 21, almost 22." "You totally look like you're sixteen." *sigh*

I DID buy that beer, well wine cooler, on the way home and split it with Momz because I bought the BIG bottle. We drank and talked and laughed at the cats and now I'm in my room with no pants. I had to punish the cats and lock them in separate bathrooms for being hooligans and knocking things over. Momz just came and let out Dels and he was sitting on the bathmat with the biggest fuck you face ever. Seriously, totes funny. Oh Dels.

Okay. I should go before I type something stupid about how much I wish I was pantsless for a good reason, like for sexy times. But I'm not, I'm just going to go to bed. Like a lameo. Or how a new boy started tonight and his name is Lindsey and how funny I think that is. Okay. Really bed now. I promise. Or at least I promise to end this post here. =]

Ugh

It's 2am, and I've only been home for half an hour. My six hour shift at work turned into an 8 1/2 hour shift. I forgot my shirt and had to run to WalMart for a black shirt, at least I got one on sale. I twisted my ankle because dipshits decided to let the trashcan overflow and let plastic bags fall on the floor. Losing your footing because you slipped on a sandwich bag sucks. I was limping half the night, my right foot pointed inward, and it kills like a sonuvabitch. I got lost driving on the Air Station, I need a goddamn map for that place. But at least I got 54$ in tips. Filled my tank from the last two days. Btdubbs, you shouldn't go through a tank of gas in two days because of work, and my car is good on gas.

I am still convinced Chris is flirting with me. I still miss Melvin. I want to get laid and might call Shane tomorrow. I am now kind of missing relationships. My chest itches from some random bug bite. I'm tired. I'm ranting. I need tiger blood. Or a zombie apocalypse.

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011!

Happy New Years Eve all. This is the final post of the year and I wanted to thank you all for holding on with me. I know I've been crazy, completely random, and sexually frustrated, but it's all been in good fun! You can never take me seriously, and I hope you never did!

The Witching Hour: The Explicit Version

It is now 1:34am and I should be sleeping. I have last minute shopping to do in the morning as I haven't gotten my brother a thing. Thank god I'm single, I couldn't handle another giftee. He'll most likely end up with a video game and I'll end up with a new pair of shoes. Because I deserve that little extra.

So what am I thinking about at this late hour? Well, what else would I be thinking?! If you know me at all, you know the answer. This is just going to be a rant adding to my previous post. But it has been three months afterall. A girl has her needs!! Fuck dry spells, and fuck people around here. Seriously, beauty standards don't change that much across state lines.

*Caution: This is about to get pretty graphic*

Why North Carolina Is Killing My Social Life

While I would never say I was a slut in Massachusetts, others would in a heartbeat but I wouldn't, I always got plenty of action whenever I wanted it. I only had two partners in high school, I had two long term relatonships, and one fling in the summer before college. So I was slightly experienced, enough to know what I was doing basically. Believe it or not, my first college sex occured with a girl. We only hooked up twice but are still friends to this day. I always said I was going to wait until college to dive head first into the vag. From there I slowly added men whenever I felt necessary. By ths point, I had hook ups to choose from in both my hometown and my college town. It was pretty great to have that many people love my mad skillz and want repeat sessions. Threesomes by the way, totally over rated. I had one with two close friends and I was super jealous the entire time I wasn't the center of attention. I guess I'm just too selfish for multiple partner sessions. Oh well, one on one is just fine for me. I lost count of the number of times I've opened the shop, but not the customers. I like to think I'm still in good standing as long as I can remember all the names. The locations are pretty great as well. Everywhere from the standard bed to a park. Sometimes, the prospect of getting caught is half the fun. Massachusetts was great for my sex life.

Now jump to the present. North Carolina, I have been here for six months now. I have had one, only ONE, tryst in that six months. This is the longest dry spell my lady parts have seen partically since virginity. I have come to the conclusion this state is killing my social life. I have had some gentleman callers, but can you say gross? I have had only the ugliest of men hit on me with any intention of sex. I do get the occasional cutie flirting, but only to pass the time. Nothing serious. It's kind of a bummer. I would go after girls in this case, but being in bible country deters that just a little. It's pretty frustating moving sometimes. Ugh.

So here I am in my room. With no decent prospect and one engaged friend. Engaged friends aren't the greatest wingmen unfortunately. Hopefully this changes quite soon or I'll be forced to forever brand North Carolina "The State That Killed My Social Life".