I've been in a wicked good mood since my accident. I have had the surrounding aura of "ohemgee, I'm so happy to be alive everything is so shiny and pretty and I'm never going to be sad again!" I've be able to find the good in everything and haven't stopped smiling at the beauty that is life. This, unfortunately, was slightly deflated over the weekend with drunken crying and stolen money.
I made plans with Erika to go to her party Saturday night and was pretty damn excited. I love that girl, she's one of the few people I thoroughly enjoy spending time with at/from work. I was scheduled to work until 8pm that day and her close, which could be midnight for all we knew. Surprisingly I got off at 6 and drove home bearing calzones for the family to waste a few hours. Thinking the liquor store closed at 10pm, I left home a little after 9. Sadly, it closed at 9 and I was stuck going to WalMart for some champagne when I wanted rum. I ordered a sub at work waiting for Erika and Tj stole me to buy him beer.
Erika finally got off, even though it was still early and only around 10pm. Some of her friends followed us to her house and let the party begin! It started off slow but was fun. We drank some, danced some, drank some more. I saw a few girls pee and a few saw me. I grinded with multiple females, danced with apple pie, and was almost pimped. *I wanted to make out with someone, Erika's boyfriend Tiger was trying to get a supposedly hot block coworker to come for me because he wanted to fuck someone. Tiger tried showing me he treated his girls great and starting waving money. I had about 500$ stuffed in my bra at one point.*
Showing posts with label drama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drama. Show all posts
18 July 2011
27 June 2011
Friday Night Shitstorm Part III
Jeremiah started shit over and over again. He finally yelled he was in love. As a joke, Vic said "with a stripper" because of that song. Sam started telling stories from her stripping days and we were all getting a laugh... until Jeremiah said "No, she's a good woman." Then he brought up the old shit of how Tj supposedly walked in on Alysia in the bathroom. He almost called Tj's girlfriend at 2am to ask her if she knew. Jeremiah's like, "Get up Tj, stand up." Tj stood up and BAM! Jeremiah punched him in the face and all hell broke lose.
Vic and Melvin jumped into the fight. I'm stuck in the corner next to the door. I'm about to be thrown in and I'm debating whether or not I should jump off the porch to avoid that. Thankfully a space clears and I run off. Beer is flying and spilling everywhere. Vic jumps out and stands with some of us on the grass. The fight ends up being Jeremiah and Melvin wrestling on the ground. Jeremiah is attempting to gouge out Melvin's eyes and Melvin's biting Jeremiah's finger to try to stop him. I'm freaking out, Courtney and Alysia are still on the porch and try to break it up. Sam walks around the corner and sees what's going on. She runs to the porch, some of the guy's rip the two apart. Sam went to town on Jeremiah. She's screaming, punching him in the face. As a reminder, there's a ten year age difference between Jeremiah and Melvin and Jeremiah is a whole lot bigger.
Melvin's down on the grass with the rest of us at this point. He's covered in beer and some blood and has some cuts beneath both his eyes. I ask someone to get me the rubbing alcohol and call him over. I tell him to clean his cuts, god knows what's under Jeremiah's nails and he doesn't need an infected eye. He keeps saying no, he's fine. I eventually beg him, telling him just do it to make me feel better. He finally does but I'm still worrying over him. He must have sensed how upset I was because he finally said, "Sweetheart, I'm fine."
It's 2:30am now. People have been screaming and lights are turning on around the neighborhood. There's underage kids and drugs, so most of us decide it's time to go. I get a hug from Vic and him and Tj leave. Courtney leaves with her boyfriend. I turn to Melvin and make him promise to text me in the morning to let me know he's okay. "You know where I'll be, even if you can't be there. So just text me, okay?" He promises since he'll be watching Sam's kids anyway. I drive away after a hug and go to my nana's place to crash for the night.
Vic and Melvin jumped into the fight. I'm stuck in the corner next to the door. I'm about to be thrown in and I'm debating whether or not I should jump off the porch to avoid that. Thankfully a space clears and I run off. Beer is flying and spilling everywhere. Vic jumps out and stands with some of us on the grass. The fight ends up being Jeremiah and Melvin wrestling on the ground. Jeremiah is attempting to gouge out Melvin's eyes and Melvin's biting Jeremiah's finger to try to stop him. I'm freaking out, Courtney and Alysia are still on the porch and try to break it up. Sam walks around the corner and sees what's going on. She runs to the porch, some of the guy's rip the two apart. Sam went to town on Jeremiah. She's screaming, punching him in the face. As a reminder, there's a ten year age difference between Jeremiah and Melvin and Jeremiah is a whole lot bigger.
Melvin's down on the grass with the rest of us at this point. He's covered in beer and some blood and has some cuts beneath both his eyes. I ask someone to get me the rubbing alcohol and call him over. I tell him to clean his cuts, god knows what's under Jeremiah's nails and he doesn't need an infected eye. He keeps saying no, he's fine. I eventually beg him, telling him just do it to make me feel better. He finally does but I'm still worrying over him. He must have sensed how upset I was because he finally said, "Sweetheart, I'm fine."
It's 2:30am now. People have been screaming and lights are turning on around the neighborhood. There's underage kids and drugs, so most of us decide it's time to go. I get a hug from Vic and him and Tj leave. Courtney leaves with her boyfriend. I turn to Melvin and make him promise to text me in the morning to let me know he's okay. "You know where I'll be, even if you can't be there. So just text me, okay?" He promises since he'll be watching Sam's kids anyway. I drive away after a hug and go to my nana's place to crash for the night.
26 June 2011
Friday Night Shitstorm Part II
Friday started off like any other good day. Mom and I decided to go out on the town for errands. Our central air went during the last storm, so we were on the hunt for window units. We went shopping, got lost and found the Duplin Winery. We had fun taste testing different jams and made a point to plan a return trip later. We spent the rest of our outting antiquing at various shops, one of which had an old school coke machine that we bought soda from.
We got home around four and by five I had an invite from Andy for the weekly party. So a little after six I packed up clothes for the following day and drove off buying booze on the way. When I arrived, Sam and Melvin were already there. We had a pretty good time and not before long, Alysia and Jeremiah showed up. Andy and Jeremiah decided to have a shot for shot contest, so the both of them quickly became piss drunk. More and more people popped up and we were all having a relatively good time despite the slight drama Jeremiah brings with him everywhere.
I was pretty gone for a bit. I drank a bottle of rum in four drinks from about seven to eleven, with a blunt somewhere in there. After that I may have had a few sips of a drink and a beer. At one point during the night I took Alysia aside. I thought I should let her know people at work think her and Jeremiah are sleeping together, she's married so that's pretty bad. I very clearly told her that I wasn't saying she was but people are talking. I would want to know if someone was talking about me that way, so I thought it was only right to tell her. Towards the end of the conversation, Jeremiah came out and saw us. He immediately got pissed as I just walked back into the house. I was sitting down when he came in and asked if I had anything to say to him. I was like, "Just because I'm talking to her doesn't mean it's about you. My life doesn't revolve around you." He just went on and on how he loves her and he knows my "intentions". I told him I had no intentions but it's okay because I'm the most horrible person in the world, I'm such a liar. I was honestly just sick of his shit, so I went outside.
Outside I was talking with everyone and trying to salvage the night. Andy came out, drunk as poo, and half sat on my chair, throwing my drink of chocolate milk and Ice 101 on my lap. After getting my clothes from my car, I go inside to change. I joke with Alysia as I walk by with Jeremiah saying I should suck it up, like I was so upset about it. The night continues on with most people ignoring his drama and trying to enjoy themselves. At one point Andy's landlord shows up, Melvin talks to him to sort things out. The landlord doesn't call the police on us but promises to talk to Andy the following day. I probably should mention we were setting things on fire on the porch during that...
We got home around four and by five I had an invite from Andy for the weekly party. So a little after six I packed up clothes for the following day and drove off buying booze on the way. When I arrived, Sam and Melvin were already there. We had a pretty good time and not before long, Alysia and Jeremiah showed up. Andy and Jeremiah decided to have a shot for shot contest, so the both of them quickly became piss drunk. More and more people popped up and we were all having a relatively good time despite the slight drama Jeremiah brings with him everywhere.
I was pretty gone for a bit. I drank a bottle of rum in four drinks from about seven to eleven, with a blunt somewhere in there. After that I may have had a few sips of a drink and a beer. At one point during the night I took Alysia aside. I thought I should let her know people at work think her and Jeremiah are sleeping together, she's married so that's pretty bad. I very clearly told her that I wasn't saying she was but people are talking. I would want to know if someone was talking about me that way, so I thought it was only right to tell her. Towards the end of the conversation, Jeremiah came out and saw us. He immediately got pissed as I just walked back into the house. I was sitting down when he came in and asked if I had anything to say to him. I was like, "Just because I'm talking to her doesn't mean it's about you. My life doesn't revolve around you." He just went on and on how he loves her and he knows my "intentions". I told him I had no intentions but it's okay because I'm the most horrible person in the world, I'm such a liar. I was honestly just sick of his shit, so I went outside.
Outside I was talking with everyone and trying to salvage the night. Andy came out, drunk as poo, and half sat on my chair, throwing my drink of chocolate milk and Ice 101 on my lap. After getting my clothes from my car, I go inside to change. I joke with Alysia as I walk by with Jeremiah saying I should suck it up, like I was so upset about it. The night continues on with most people ignoring his drama and trying to enjoy themselves. At one point Andy's landlord shows up, Melvin talks to him to sort things out. The landlord doesn't call the police on us but promises to talk to Andy the following day. I probably should mention we were setting things on fire on the porch during that...
Friday Night Shitstorm
Ever have one of those nights you wish you could just forget? Friday was one of those. Honestly I'm still acting shell shock and have been on the verge of tears at random points throughout the days. So many things, lives, were ruined in the span of that one night. I may have only been involved by proximity, but I still can't believe any of it happened. I'm upset for everyone involved, only in slightly different capacities. It was horrible and I wish it never happened.
09 June 2011
Conflicted
Here it is after midnight yet again and my mind is wandering. I can't seem to keep it quiet lately. Every thought I have seems to contradict the one before it and I'm starting to get confused. This is probably why I've been drinking so much lately. I've been medicating in the best way I know. I'm fighting with passive aggressiveness, sarcasm, lonliness, heartache, contentment, happiness, and depression. Seemingly all at once.
Jeremiah dealt with me at work by not dealing with me. He barely spoke and gave me one word sentences when he had to. He wouldn't let me go near his station even if he was busy and I had nothing to do. I'm sitting there and offer to help but nope, he's got it. I was so happy when I was sent home early. I didn't want to deal with his attitude the day I was told to be more "bubbly" at work. It's hard to be bubbly when you're being ignored.
I have a date this Saturday with a boy named Michael. I'm not sure if I want a relationship. I mean, the last person I fell in love with lives on a completely different continent which squashed any chance at a real relationship. And I kind of still love him. Okay, not kind of. Totally and completely still love him, I'm just trying really hard to ignore that part of my heart and it's turning out to be harder than I expected. I want to give this boy a chance. Even though he's a year younger than I am and seems kind of desperate for a relationship. I don't want to be a girlfriend of convenience.
On the other hand I'm doing this booty call thing with Shane. We've slept together twice so far, which I've dished about, and I turned him down for tonight. Mainly because of transportation issues. He's hot, I like him, but there is no future there and I know that. He's all about fun and it's not that I'm getting tired of it, I'm just confused about all the other guys in my life. Like my best friend Mike Pop. I love that kid, he's one of my best friends and I couldn't imagine my life without him. But we also have that sort of relationship where we sleep together. He wants to visit, and I can't wait to see him, but I also know how we are together. Basically, we're going to be all over each other, probably drunk. We've been texting a lot recently, trying to plan the visit, but it's also been about what we mean to each other. Mike knows I love him, I tell him all the time, but he knows it's platonically considering he's one of my best friends.
I'm sick of my brain and I'm sick of my heart. I've been ignoring the fact that I've been involving myself with more than one person while I have feelings for a completely different one who wants nothing to do with me. I'm scared. I hate that I'm scared. I was rejected by the first person I loved in years and now I'm not sure if I have it in me to put myself out there like that again, even though I desperately wish someone loved me. I think I'm trying to distract myself with enough guys that I won't become attached to any of them. But somehow I don't see that happening.
Basically, I'm a wreck.
Jeremiah dealt with me at work by not dealing with me. He barely spoke and gave me one word sentences when he had to. He wouldn't let me go near his station even if he was busy and I had nothing to do. I'm sitting there and offer to help but nope, he's got it. I was so happy when I was sent home early. I didn't want to deal with his attitude the day I was told to be more "bubbly" at work. It's hard to be bubbly when you're being ignored.
I have a date this Saturday with a boy named Michael. I'm not sure if I want a relationship. I mean, the last person I fell in love with lives on a completely different continent which squashed any chance at a real relationship. And I kind of still love him. Okay, not kind of. Totally and completely still love him, I'm just trying really hard to ignore that part of my heart and it's turning out to be harder than I expected. I want to give this boy a chance. Even though he's a year younger than I am and seems kind of desperate for a relationship. I don't want to be a girlfriend of convenience.
On the other hand I'm doing this booty call thing with Shane. We've slept together twice so far, which I've dished about, and I turned him down for tonight. Mainly because of transportation issues. He's hot, I like him, but there is no future there and I know that. He's all about fun and it's not that I'm getting tired of it, I'm just confused about all the other guys in my life. Like my best friend Mike Pop. I love that kid, he's one of my best friends and I couldn't imagine my life without him. But we also have that sort of relationship where we sleep together. He wants to visit, and I can't wait to see him, but I also know how we are together. Basically, we're going to be all over each other, probably drunk. We've been texting a lot recently, trying to plan the visit, but it's also been about what we mean to each other. Mike knows I love him, I tell him all the time, but he knows it's platonically considering he's one of my best friends.
I'm sick of my brain and I'm sick of my heart. I've been ignoring the fact that I've been involving myself with more than one person while I have feelings for a completely different one who wants nothing to do with me. I'm scared. I hate that I'm scared. I was rejected by the first person I loved in years and now I'm not sure if I have it in me to put myself out there like that again, even though I desperately wish someone loved me. I think I'm trying to distract myself with enough guys that I won't become attached to any of them. But somehow I don't see that happening.
Basically, I'm a wreck.
01 June 2011
26 May 2011
Awkward Turtle
I have work in just over an hour. A is the opening supervisor. I have a feeling this is going to be painful. I have to go in there and pretend I'm not wicked embarassed that he saw everything that went down. That he didn't see me get verbally raped by J at his house. That I didn't then start hysterically crying whilst extremely intoxicated. Which caused me to puke everywhere. This, is going to be a long, long day.
25 May 2011
Cry Through The Vomit
So basically J is an insecure, immature, whiney little bitch.
R and A invited me over for a party Sunday and we rescheduled it to yesterday since we all had today off. Halfway through the day, I got a text from R telling me J would be there too. I didn't care either way, it's not like I had a problem with him or anything, just slightly annoyed. I was laughing about the situation more than anything. So when I got off work at ten, I drove over to get shitted.
I arrived to the house and R began telling me things J said before I got there. How he told everyone and told his parents he remembers nothing about the other night. That I left and came back, got mosquito bites, and kissed him in public. That he didn't want a girlfriend. I laughed. I guess he said it unprovoked the second he heard I was on my way. He awkwardly said hi to me after ten minutes and acted like a douche for the rest of the night.
R and A invited me over for a party Sunday and we rescheduled it to yesterday since we all had today off. Halfway through the day, I got a text from R telling me J would be there too. I didn't care either way, it's not like I had a problem with him or anything, just slightly annoyed. I was laughing about the situation more than anything. So when I got off work at ten, I drove over to get shitted.
I arrived to the house and R began telling me things J said before I got there. How he told everyone and told his parents he remembers nothing about the other night. That I left and came back, got mosquito bites, and kissed him in public. That he didn't want a girlfriend. I laughed. I guess he said it unprovoked the second he heard I was on my way. He awkwardly said hi to me after ten minutes and acted like a douche for the rest of the night.
30 November 2010
If You Were A Candy Bar...
First off, I really don't understand group interviews. Yeah, it's a way to see how you work with others, but how do you plan on actually getting to know the person? I doubt I'm getting that Toys'R'Us job. It's what happens when you get loud, extremely talkative people in the groups and you can't get a word edge wise. I did get to play with Legos so at least that was fun. I also got called for a pre employment test at a call center this morning and passed so at least have that second interview to look forward to, especially since I make bank with that job. Oh, one Friday too. If I don't have a job by the end of the week I'm going to be petty pissed.
Honestly I can't wait until end of January when I start class. I'm ready to begin working on a career now that I finally picked something. Hopefully this is the first step in becoming an adult and getting ready to live my life. I'm getting a little tired of acting like a child and dealing with all the drama that comes with it. I want to have an adult job, relationship, friends, and life. Fingers crossed I acomplish it this time around...
Honestly I can't wait until end of January when I start class. I'm ready to begin working on a career now that I finally picked something. Hopefully this is the first step in becoming an adult and getting ready to live my life. I'm getting a little tired of acting like a child and dealing with all the drama that comes with it. I want to have an adult job, relationship, friends, and life. Fingers crossed I acomplish it this time around...
15 October 2007
Long Time. No Write.
I just remembered about this thing.
I forgot all about blogging my days worries.
Well in the after math of the Matt incident, I guess the world is just peachy.
College applications suck hard but that's pretty much a given.
I'll talk more later when I have the will.
I forgot all about blogging my days worries.
Well in the after math of the Matt incident, I guess the world is just peachy.
College applications suck hard but that's pretty much a given.
I'll talk more later when I have the will.
29 May 2007
In Need Of Help.
Everything is beginning to fall apart and I no longer know what to do anymore. I feel as if I should question anything and everything that is happening but also feel like I should just cave in. Somehow everything seems to be my fault and I don't do anything. All I do is go to school, work, and hang out with Mike. But yet I'm the cause of everyone's problems. It's somehow my fault that everyone hates me. Half his friends hate cause I somehow changed him and turned him into the so-called "bitch". And now the person I've known the longest seems to hate me because of this. Saying how she's going to cut him off because he wasn't there for her. It seems like everyone is against me for some reason and I cannot deal with it. As I'm writing this I'm on the verge of tears because I feel like I cannot do anything right and shouldn't bother anymore. I honestly cannot wait until I graduate next year. I need to get away from Cape Cod and these ignorant people. I want to go somewhere where no one knows me and I can be who I want to be. Not constantly watching my back just in case I get blamed for something else. I already plan to cut everyone off this summer, with the exception of my boyfriend. But it seems like even he doesn't want to be around me. Lately he's seemed slightly angry and I'm not sure if it's because of me. Part of me thinks it is and I don't know what to do about that. I'm so afraid I'm going to lose him after all this and I never want that to happen. It just seems so hard to keep this going when all everyone does is talk about me behind my back spreading all these rumors that aren't true. I'm honestly not sure what he does and does not believe. I think the vision he had of me has changed for the worse and that I'll no longer seem worthy to him in his eyes. It feels so horrible to have no one to talk to anymore. There is no one for me to vent with and I'm forced to keep half of all this to myself. I can't exactly tell him that I feel this way. That would just make me seem insecure and helpless. I need to take some days to myself but I can't do that. I'd miss him too much. I think I should seriously ditch the Cape for awhile but I have no where to go. I hate this place and I cannot stand the majority of the people here. Please take me away from this place someone and help me through all this. I have no idea what to do and I'm losing it.
22 May 2007
Beauty.
Today was so amazing. I loved every single moment of it, while except for like half an hour. I guess I'll have to start at the beginning of my wonderful day.
Reminiscing about oldie songs was great. Slightly sad that I could sing along and knew every word to the majority of them. The begin the Rollo parade throughout the rest of school with our version of the Vietcong tunnels. Bliss.
Drove Mike around for a while: Hy-Line; Jared's; Dunkin' Dounuts; Taco Bell; Christmas Tree Shop; and Dead Zone. And then he bought me the prettiest bracelet at the last location. I love it so much and it is absolutely beautiful. I love him so much.
Bad: Bobby and Austin harassing Justin yet again. Except this time they brought my mom into it, calling her a whore. Of course I had to get myself involved and talk to the two of them except they had to be around little kids so I couldn't bitch them out as I wished. Damn. But we just got back from talking with Bobby's parents, so it's slightly better.
Back to good. Mike means everything to me and I'm so happy I have him. He's the best thing I could have ever hoped for. He treats me the way only the most special girls deserve. I'm so happy he's considering going to South Carolina with me. It makes everything so much easier. And he's completely ecsatic about the fact that he now has a job and will have money on a regular basis, a good chunk too. I love him more than anything and I always will.
And he claims that he will never find anyone that he loves more than me. Which, is the best thing I have ever heard.
Reminiscing about oldie songs was great. Slightly sad that I could sing along and knew every word to the majority of them. The begin the Rollo parade throughout the rest of school with our version of the Vietcong tunnels. Bliss.
Drove Mike around for a while: Hy-Line; Jared's; Dunkin' Dounuts; Taco Bell; Christmas Tree Shop; and Dead Zone. And then he bought me the prettiest bracelet at the last location. I love it so much and it is absolutely beautiful. I love him so much.
Bad: Bobby and Austin harassing Justin yet again. Except this time they brought my mom into it, calling her a whore. Of course I had to get myself involved and talk to the two of them except they had to be around little kids so I couldn't bitch them out as I wished. Damn. But we just got back from talking with Bobby's parents, so it's slightly better.
Back to good. Mike means everything to me and I'm so happy I have him. He's the best thing I could have ever hoped for. He treats me the way only the most special girls deserve. I'm so happy he's considering going to South Carolina with me. It makes everything so much easier. And he's completely ecsatic about the fact that he now has a job and will have money on a regular basis, a good chunk too. I love him more than anything and I always will.
And he claims that he will never find anyone that he loves more than me. Which, is the best thing I have ever heard.
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