Hometown Love

This past Thursday (now about two weeks because I'm a slacker), I had a blast from the past. A friend I've known for ten years but haven't seen in five, came for a visit. He's currently stationed at Fort Bragg, at least for another week, which is less than two hours away. So from Thursday to Sunday, I was in a hotel room with the awesome John.

I made him drive through the country backroads to get into town, just for the fun of it. Half way through the drive I get a text, "Where are we, Smallville?" I laughed to myself as we drive further into civilization. When we finally made it to the hotel and got ourselves situated, we ended up going for dinner and a movie. That night I had a new experience.

I was peer pressured. John had brought some e and I had never tried that before. I took a few hits, popped in a movie, and we waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing happened beside complaining about not feeling anything and slight footsie action. So, we took some more.

A few hours in, it hit. I felt like my nerve endings were more sensitive than ever before. Being cuddled in those covers were the most amazing feeling. Then there was the talking. It was never ending. I honestly did not shut up. When I became aware of my over talking, I would attempt to keep my mouth closed. But that only lasted about two seconds. The moment something entered my mind, it was out my mouth. Oh, and since this is me, there was sex involved.

The next day was pretty bad. I don't get hangovers, but I felt as if I was hungover. John and I spent a few hours at Erika's and we both felt ill the entire time. Work that night, was not fun to say the least. But the rest of the weekend was great. It was full of alcohol, sex, and fun.

You have no idea how great it was to be back around someone from Massachusetts. I could act like myself and not have to worry about offended someone. Talking, the comebacks came one after the other. It was pretty awesome.

So now my birthday bash... I'll spill that later.

Hey Fatty, Got Fries With That Shake?

Weight has always been an issue. Most of us see the fat phobia everyday, whether it's directed against you, against someone else, or maybe you're making the comments. I personally have ridden the weight roller coaster my entire life. Though I've never been in the extreme, I still have been on the really thin side and the side where you're slightly embarassed. We do have control over weight. Maybe not over the actual loss, but our mind set about it. We've been conditioned to hate fat, to hate fat people, to hate ourselves if we have that extra pudge around the middle.

Have you ever been called a name, been mooed at? Have you ever counted each day by the number of fat jokes you heard? If you're one of those people who've been thin your whole life, you really won't get it all that much. Yes, you might have a fat friend and you see what they're going through, but it's much, much different when directed at you. I've hated myself, I've had eating disorders on both ends, I've cried myself to sleep. Lots of times I just gave up and accepted it. That right there, is the real problem. We turn into what the world tells us to.

I was a really skinny toddler but somewhere along the way that changed. Something was wrong with the connection between my stomach and my brain and I never quite knew when I was full. Because of this, I did gain the weight. I also had to be put on medication to help correct that, to try to stop the horrible pains I got when I literally couldn't fit another bite. I was the chubby kid. I remember hating swim lessons during summer camp because the kids hated being on the team with the "fat girl". It sucks, it honestly does.