Drunk Birthday

My 22nd birthday was on the 7th and I should have written this post the day after but I've been avoiding the computer for some reason lately. I suck.

The day started with me leaving the house to beautify. I got a french manipedi, my hair cut, and my eyebrows done. Seriously guys, I cut my hair. Like five inches went from my head to the ground. It's much shorter than I wanted, but what's done is done and hair grows back. From that, I drove down the street to grab some lunch and some booze.

I'm sitting in a drive through and my car starts freaking out. Luna starts sputtering, stalling, and refusing to work. I manage to get out of line and into a spot but I know my clutch is dead. Thank you Luna for your amazing birthday gift, the amazing disappearing clutch. It rocked. I called my uncle, told him what happened, and asked him to come get me. I then called Erika that I wouldn't be at her house as soon as I had planned. Sitting at a McDonald's for close to two hours is no picnic my dears.

After much struggle, my car ends up being towed back to my house. Uncle offers to drive me to Erika's so I don't miss my own birthday party. I grabbed my bags and hop in, happy I actually get to end the night on a better note. She wasn't home when I got there, so I let myself in and start getting dressed. I'm all done up with my new do, killer heels, skinny jeans, and a shirt that makes my boobs the main attraction.

A Cloudy Sky in the Sunshine

I've been in a wicked good mood since my accident. I have had the surrounding aura of "ohemgee, I'm so happy to be alive everything is so shiny and pretty and I'm never going to be sad again!" I've be able to find the good in everything and haven't stopped smiling at the beauty that is life. This, unfortunately, was slightly deflated over the weekend with drunken crying and stolen money.

I made plans with Erika to go to her party Saturday night and was pretty damn excited. I love that girl, she's one of the few people I thoroughly enjoy spending time with at/from work. I was scheduled to work until 8pm that day and her close, which could be midnight for all we knew. Surprisingly I got off at 6 and drove home bearing calzones for the family to waste a few hours. Thinking the liquor store closed at 10pm, I left home a little after 9. Sadly, it closed at 9 and I was stuck going to WalMart for some champagne when I wanted rum. I ordered a sub at work waiting for Erika and Tj stole me to buy him beer.

Erika finally got off, even though it was still early and only around 10pm. Some of her friends followed us to her house and let the party begin! It started off slow but was fun. We drank some, danced some, drank some more. I saw a few girls pee and a few saw me. I grinded with multiple females, danced with apple pie, and was almost pimped. *I wanted to make out with someone, Erika's boyfriend Tiger was trying to get a supposedly hot block coworker to come for me because he wanted to fuck someone. Tiger tried showing me he treated his girls great and starting waving money. I had about 500$ stuffed in my bra at one point.*

Friday Night Shitstorm Part III

Jeremiah started shit over and over again. He finally yelled he was in love. As a joke, Vic said "with a stripper" because of that song. Sam started telling stories from her stripping days and we were all getting a laugh... until Jeremiah said "No, she's a good woman." Then he brought up the old shit of how Tj supposedly walked in on Alysia in the bathroom. He almost called Tj's girlfriend at 2am to ask her if she knew. Jeremiah's like, "Get up Tj, stand up." Tj stood up and BAM! Jeremiah punched him in the face and all hell broke lose.

Vic and Melvin jumped into the fight. I'm stuck in the corner next to the door. I'm about to be thrown in and I'm debating whether or not I should jump off the porch to avoid that. Thankfully a space clears and I run off. Beer is flying and spilling everywhere. Vic jumps out and stands with some of us on the grass. The fight ends up being Jeremiah and Melvin wrestling on the ground. Jeremiah is attempting to gouge out Melvin's eyes and Melvin's biting Jeremiah's finger to try to stop him. I'm freaking out, Courtney and Alysia are still on the porch and try to break it up. Sam walks around the corner and sees what's going on. She runs to the porch, some of the guy's rip the two apart. Sam went to town on Jeremiah. She's screaming, punching him in the face. As a reminder, there's a ten year age difference between Jeremiah and Melvin and Jeremiah is a whole lot bigger.

Melvin's down on the grass with the rest of us at this point. He's covered in beer and some blood and has some cuts beneath both his eyes. I ask someone to get me the rubbing alcohol and call him over. I tell him to clean his cuts, god knows what's under Jeremiah's nails and he doesn't need an infected eye. He keeps saying no, he's fine. I eventually beg him, telling him just do it to make me feel better. He finally does but I'm still worrying over him. He must have sensed how upset I was because he finally said, "Sweetheart, I'm fine."

It's 2:30am now. People have been screaming and lights are turning on around the neighborhood. There's underage kids and drugs, so most of us decide it's time to go. I get a hug from Vic and him and Tj leave. Courtney leaves with her boyfriend. I turn to Melvin and make him promise to text me in the morning to let me know he's okay. "You know where I'll be, even if you can't be there. So just text me, okay?" He promises since he'll be watching Sam's kids anyway. I drive away after a hug and go to my nana's place to crash for the night.

Friday Night Shitstorm Part II

Friday started off like any other good day. Mom and I decided to go out on the town for errands. Our central air went during the last storm, so we were on the hunt for window units. We went shopping, got lost and found the Duplin Winery. We had fun taste testing different jams and made a point to plan a return trip later. We spent the rest of our outting antiquing at various shops, one of which had an old school coke machine that we bought soda from.

We got home around four and by five I had an invite from Andy for the weekly party. So a little after six I packed up clothes for the following day and drove off buying booze on the way. When I arrived, Sam and Melvin were already there. We had a pretty good time and not before long, Alysia and Jeremiah showed up. Andy and Jeremiah decided to have a shot for shot contest, so the both of them quickly became piss drunk. More and more people popped up and we were all having a relatively good time despite the slight drama Jeremiah brings with him everywhere.

I was pretty gone for a bit. I drank a bottle of rum in four drinks from about seven to eleven, with a blunt somewhere in there. After that I may have had a few sips of a drink and a beer. At one point during the night I took Alysia aside. I thought I should let her know people at work think her and Jeremiah are sleeping together, she's married so that's pretty bad. I very clearly told her that I wasn't saying she was but people are talking. I would want to know if someone was talking about me that way, so I thought it was only right to tell her. Towards the end of the conversation, Jeremiah came out and saw us. He immediately got pissed as I just walked back into the house. I was sitting down when he came in and asked if I had anything to say to him. I was like, "Just because I'm talking to her doesn't mean it's about you. My life doesn't revolve around you." He just went on and on how he loves her and he knows my "intentions". I told him I had no intentions but it's okay because I'm the most horrible person in the world, I'm such a liar. I was honestly just sick of his shit, so I went outside.

Outside I was talking with everyone and trying to salvage the night. Andy came out, drunk as poo, and half sat on my chair, throwing my drink of chocolate milk and Ice 101 on my lap. After getting my clothes from my car, I go inside to change. I joke with Alysia as I walk by with Jeremiah saying I should suck it up, like I was so upset about it. The night continues on with most people ignoring his drama and trying to enjoy themselves. At one point Andy's landlord shows up, Melvin talks to him to sort things out. The landlord doesn't call the police on us but promises to talk to Andy the following day. I probably should mention we were setting things on fire on the porch during that...

Friday Night Shitstorm

Ever have one of those nights you wish you could just forget? Friday was one of those. Honestly I'm still acting shell shock and have been on the verge of tears at random points throughout the days. So many things, lives, were ruined in the span of that one night. I may have only been involved by proximity, but I still can't believe any of it happened. I'm upset for everyone involved, only in slightly different capacities. It was horrible and I wish it never happened.

I Love My Cock

I went to Andy's once again yesterday. As per my usual, I showed up first. But I helped him clean the house. I feel bad crashing there all the time, trashing the place, so I did his dishes and looked after B, his son. That kid is awesome. He's going to be the most badass kid when he grows up. I was drinking Ice 101 and chocolate milk, seriously try it. Tastes like mint chocolate milk, epic. I gave B the teeniest sip of it and he loved it surprisingly. When I made him a glass of strawberry milk later and asked how it was, you know what that ba kid said? "It would be better with peppermint."

Melvin showed up a little bit later bearing bags of booze for the night. Melvin and Andy bribed me into taking a shot of Hennessey. My god, I was telling them how much I hated them for a while. Andy was making the world's greatest spaghetti and I wasn't allowed to eat that until I drank some coke and Hennessey. I swear they were just trying to get me drunk even though they knew I wasn't going to be spending the night. That spaghetti was bomb, yo. Needless to say I was pretty buzzed by the time other people showed up. We got a good crowd going, running out of room for all the cars. We rode the elephant for a while, messing me up even more. =D Now we get to the interesting part of my night...

Stood Up

Well today was a day. I hate hangovers. I hate that I'm actually starting to get hangovers.

I got off work just before 11pm last night. I run to Walmart, buy some beer, and scoot my butt over to Andy's for the party. Given the late hour, I'm greeted by drunk faces, a hug from Melvin, and a dirty look from Jeremiah. I immediately open a beer and relax with people out on the porch. My total count by the end of the night was two beers and three shots of rum. I know, I'm embarrassed of myself too. That is such a small list. I did also hit the shit out of the elephant. Yes, elephant. Someone had an elephant bowl and that was fucking awesome. You smoked out of its trunk, epic. I ended up puking my guts out, partially on myself, but Melvin was nice and held my hair back. Thankfully I had a change of pants in my car since I had a date today, so I changed in the bathroom and passed out on Andy's bed. Who came in an hour or so later, talked to me for a few minutes, then passed out himself. I'm pretty sure he tried cuddling with me, I kept feeling an arm reach out to me. In response to that, I slept on the couch.

When I woke up this morning around 10am, I realized my pants were inside out. No wonder I had so much trouble buttoning them the night before. I couldn't find my flip flops inside anywhere, so I just grabbed my purse and walked outside. I found one on the porch, the other half way across the yard. I drove off chewing gum and went to the laundromat. I needed to wash my puke covered jeans, I needed them for work. On the way I texted Michael to let him know I was wicked hungover and physical activity was going to be too much to ask of me. So I didn't exactly stand him up, only kind of. I washed a total of two outfits, I'm such a weirdo I had dirty clothes in my car. I bought myself Subway but felt nauseous after two bites. Sitting on the floor wearing sunglasses, practically falling asleep, with sketchy ghetto black guys... Yeah, that was my morning. As soon as my clothes were done, which never happened since I took them out still damp, I left and went to my nana's empty place and passed out until forever.

I walked out to my car shirtless to get my things to get ready for work. I hope the neighbor lady enjoyed my bra. I got dressed and drove to work an hour early, I was fucking stahving and the leftover sub I had was gross from sitting for hours. Ick. I got my coffee coolatta on the way and enjoyed my greasy fried food when I got there. My tire was a little low but was okay to drive on. But a few hours later, I'm told its on the rim. Lunayoufuckingpieceofshitcar.

I have a flat spare, no jack, and no one to come save me. The supervisor lets me take her car to fill up my spare, but once I do that I realize its the tire that's warped beyond belief and therefore useless. Once back at the store, someone lets me borrow their jack. Silly boy started explaining how to jack up a car, I laughed. The boys were acting all concerned, it was funny. I got my car jacked up and the tire off with a little fighting, I had to sit there and kick it off. The second I got it off, Tj came out to help me. Such timing. But he was in a good mood and drove me to the gas station to fill the tire on the chance it was just a leak and I didn't run over something destroying the tire. Thankfully that's what it seemed to be, we didn't find any holes and it stayed inflated, even after we drove back and put it back on my car. It got me home at least.

I came home to chicken nuggets and french fries. I made some awesome sweet tea and laughed at my crazy kitten who is in one of those killer cat moods. My head still hurts, my stomach still wants to die. I feel a little guilty, a little lonely. I'm still unsure about everything, but at least I got one night off from myself.

Rum, Whiskey, Beer, Tequila, & Condoms

It's finally my day off and I can spill on my adventures since I blogged Wednesday night. Of course there is much more booze, sex, laughter, and a few urges to punch someone in the face. I've officially decided that while I have no clue where my life is going, I'm okay with it. I've also decided to fuck that pc no name bullshit I was going with because all the initials are getting confusing to me and I know the people, I have no clue how all you are surviving and keep my adventures straight.

Thursday morning I woke up early feeling like my insides were ripped apart the night before, in a good way. Shane, formally known as the cute boy from class, seriously knows his shit and may or may not have caused me to bleed slightly from a punctured already misformed uterus. So I got dressed and drove my little bum to work and explained to Andy, A, that I needed to get off early. Leaving work at 6 when my final is 6:30 is not preferrable when school was across town and there's tons of construction traffic going down. Thankfully he understood and Alysia agreed to come in early so I left at 5. I'm sure Jeremiah, J, was more than thrilled I was leaving just as he was getting there. I sat outside in the wonderful sunshine in my stinky work clothes and studied.

When I went in and sat down in front of the computer, I was just slightly dreading the next two hours. I read the lists of drugs we were supposed to memorize that I didn't even knew existed until just three days prior and freaked out just a little. The class filed in one by one, I stuck my tongue out at Shane when he arrived and waited for the instructions. Once actually taking the final, it wasn't so bad. I actually knew some of the drugs and the questions were only slightly tricky. I ended with a 89 on the final and a 95 in the course. Pretty damn good if I say so myself. I got a fancy certificate for passing and we all booked it out. I talked to Shane for a bit but we went our separate ways, though we drove in the same direction for a while. XD

Friday: Another day shift, another day waking up early. I decided I wanted to go to a party so Andy and Rachel, R, decided to make it happen. Once I got out, I added up my tips, bought rum, pineapple juice, and drove to Andy's. Sam was already there and she was helping Andy clean since his mom was coming with a car for him since his went caput a while ago. She didn't stay long so out came the booze. Rachel came over not much later, so shots of whiskey started. My total count for the night was five shots of whiskey and four rum and pineapple where the rum was getting stronger and stronger. More and more coworkers showed up, Jessica and Tj, which only added to the amount of children running around. Talk of Alysia and Jeremiah coming arose and everyone made it clear that he couldn't start shit with me or he'd be kicked out. But of course he couldn't act mature.

Cry Through The Vomit

So basically J is an insecure, immature, whiney little bitch.

R and A invited me over for a party Sunday and we rescheduled it to yesterday since we all had today off. Halfway through the day, I got a text from R telling me J would be there too. I didn't care either way, it's not like I had a problem with him or anything, just slightly annoyed. I was laughing about the situation more than anything.  So when I got off work at ten, I drove over to get shitted.

I arrived to the house and R began telling me things J said before I got there. How he told everyone and told his parents he remembers nothing about the other night. That I left and came back, got mosquito bites, and kissed him in public. That he didn't want a girlfriend. I laughed. I guess he said it unprovoked the second he heard I was on my way. He awkwardly said hi to me after ten minutes and acted like a douche for the rest of the night.

Drunken Antics

So today is J's birthday. He's officially 31 and I helped him ring it in. Yesterday after class I stopped by work for dinner and just stayed, I was avoiding going home. I hung out with a coworker, V, and made plans to drink at her place after close. Well when everyone came out, she was too busy making out with her boyfriend, who also works with us, that when J and our night supervisor were going for a drink, I tagged along. I was a little worried about how J would act, this was the first time we'd seen each other since making out in my car a few days ago, but he didn't act any different.

Our supervisor stayed for one drink and a smoke, leaving J with me. He did sit on the phone with R making later plans, but I was nursing my rum and pineapple I didn't mind much. We hung out there for a while and eventually R and the day supervisor, A, came to invite us out. After arguing with J that he was not driving my car after 7 beers, we were on our way to A's house.

At his house, I pulled out my two five packs of malt liquer, one of each had been drank. There was two cases of beer in the house, weed, and spice. The four of us drank ourselves silly. R and I danced like drunk girls do, which made A a little too excited. XD We loudly talked about sex, lesbian porn, and stalker. A blunt was passed around. Now, I only smoke when I'm drunk, and boy was I drunk. When R and A went outside, I finally gave J his birthday hug followed by many drunken kisses.

Botched Threesome & Bad Decisions

When my weeks on Cape were winding down, my social calender was getting pretty full. Everyone seemed to want to have a least one night with my company before I disappeared into the horizon forever. One night I was at work, I got a text from Bestie telling me I'm picking her up from the mall to hang out that night. Soon after I received this from her phone:

This is Tom. Bring the backpack.

Now I should probably explain the backpack. I had several contraband items in my room, so while packing I put everything that could cause Mom to bite my head off into my backpack. It was quite genius. I'll let you guess it's contents. Don't worry, you'll find out during the story.

As soon as I clocked out, I drove to the mall ten miles down the road to pick up Bestie and Tom. On the way, I was texting my crush at the time, Chuckie, a delightful Brazilian who made me tingly in all the right ways. We drove to my house and I grabbed my backpack and overnight clothes for Bestie and I. While waiting for Chuckie and Gannon, the two had quite a bromance, the three of us went to the grocery store located conveniently behind my house to grab chocolate milk, sprite, and orange juice. Back in my neighborhood, we noticed a few kids drinking and demanded Tom freestyle for them, he was half black and had rhyme. Chuckie and Gannon arrived.