Miserable Miserable.

It's raining again. It's been rainy for the past few days on and off and it's making everything so cold. It was in the high 80's just last week and I miss it. I normally love the rain, but this is just cold and miserable. I need a little sunshine to brighten up life. I've been a little sad lately, I didn't get the job I wanted. Poo.

I think I'm going to edit a poem and post it later tonight. <3

Writer's Edge

Well tomorrow's the big day. I have both my job shadow at my professor's pharmacy and the compound lab during class. It should be a very busy and exciting day. I'm actually looking forward to it a lot. Wednesday or Thursday I should hear about the pharmacy tech job I interviewed for last Thursday. I really want to be offered the position. I need a job pretty desperately.

I'm still working on my writing, I kind of wrote a song. It's not very good right now, but I'm working on it and I hope it'll at least make sense. If I could just get a beat down, I think it'll be a whole lot easier. I'm just completely spacing on how I want it to sound. I might post it once I think it sounds right. I promise to at least post a poem once I get the wording right. I plan on working on or adding to a spoken word I was writing over the weekend. It's written kind of like a letter to someone I know from back on Cape Cod. I'll post what I have so far tomorrow night when I get home from class, whether it's finished or not. I promise.

My Mind's Buzzing

Well it's almost midnight and I can't sleep so I'm obviously blogging. There's way too much on my mind for me to actually sleep, though I haven't been getting much of that lately. All my dreams are filled with that alternate reality I've cooked up for myself. It certainly beats my life at the moment.

But here's what's currently on my mind:
Cape Cod
My friends back in Mass
Hearing about my new job
Job shadow Tuesday
Class Tuesday
Five to fifty songs playing in my head
Sex
Losing weight
Am I cute enough for Southern boys?
Crush from home
Crush from class

If I managed to narrow that down to one topic, I'll have a more enjoyable post.

Loving You

Today was a great day. I had a job interview for the coolest pharm tech job ever and now I'm basking in the glow of being wicked happy with life. This is going to be a short, short post but just know I love you.

I'm Back!

Internet is back, hopefully for good this time. But I for one, am not holding my breath. Mom likes to randomly disconnect it if Brother or I aren't fulfilling some insane code of conduct. The fact that I have online school has little impact on her decisions. I hope for your sake, it stays on more permanently.

I'm now in school. I'm taking a course to be trained as a pharmacy technician. I really enjoy it so far, just a lot of memorization. I think I can handle it, though. I'm still unemployed to my dismay. I've been applying all over the place, a few interviews, but nothing. Aw boo to my life.

On a better note, I shut down my no dating rule. I am still on the celibacy thing, for now, but Boyfriend is wonderful. We've been together for about two and half weeks now. He thinks my accent is adorable, and I think he's adorable for thinking so. Boyfriend is two years younger, but he only acts it occasionally. Overall, I'm pretty damn happy.

I'll try to check back in tomorrow. =D

I Left My House

Seriously, I left my house today. I got up, showered, and got all dolled up. I looked adorable, but my heels gave my baby toe a blister and I probably shouldn't have popped it. Ugh. I drove into Jacksonville for a job interview this afternoon, and fingers crossed! I seriously need this job like no tomorrow. I bought myself new clothes with my Christmas money and I feel like such a lady. Except you probably don't see a girl in wedge heels and dressy clothes with a black hanging out her mouth very often. What can I say, I'm a different brand of girl.

While I was out, I ran into a cute boy I had met the other day. We spoke very quickly because he was working and I was running out the door. I didn't shamelessly flirt. Progress! I mention this mainly because of my New Year's Resolutions. These are going to sound crazy to most but I'm going to try to stick to them.

The Tales and Trials of Womanhood

When the only thing you want to wear is head to toe sweats, you might be hormonal. When the only thing you can make yourself do is cuddle in blankets in front of the tv, you might be hormonal. When all you want to drink is highly sweetened hot beverages, you might be hormonal. When all you want to eat is pretty much anything in sight, you might be hormonal. Sometimes being a woman, really sucks. When every other thing about me screams child, you think my body would comply. I act like a child, my body should as well.

I cancelled my interview this morning mainly because I couldn't bring myself to go to it. I figured writhing in pain was bad for a job interview. I know it's only uphill from here but I hope it doesn't take too long. Wrapping myself in warm blankets with junk food sounds like pretty much the best in the entire world right now.

I'm counting down the days until class begins and now that I have a friend joining me, it'll be even better. I'm ready for a good career where I can make bank and go off on my own. I'm getting a little tired of the living with mommy thing and want my own place. I'm old enough to make my own decisions and I shouldn't have to run it past someone first. And goddamn it, I want to have a drink in my own house without having to hide it in my bedroom. I want to be able to come home and have a cold drink. Cold because it's been in my fridge and not in my closet. It was one thing to hide my drinking when I was underage but I'm legal now, it's rediculous to have to hide it now.

Baby When It's Cold Outside...

I'm sitting here bundled up in bed in my rapist sweats and Brockton High sweatshirt and I'm seriously starting to regret drinking two cups of tea in a five minute span because all I want to do is sleep. It was fucking freezing outside and having to do heavy lifting all night wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I woke up this morning. I had planned for a job interview, furniture pickup, and possible some yard work. But nope, I get recruited to lift the world's heaviest chicken coop and step in dog poop. Awesome. At least now I feel warm and clean, on top of hyper. 1am is a little late for it, but I'll take what I can get.

I'm setting my heart on the job I interviewed for this morning. It's a nice job at a call center with a nice starting, 2$ above minimum, with chances for raises and benefits. Plus, I can keep my piercings and I can wear jeans. It's pretty awesome. Fingers are deff crossed times a million. I need a nice job to make bank while I train for a career to make even more bank. =]

If You Were A Candy Bar...

First off, I really don't understand group interviews. Yeah, it's a way to see how you work with others, but how do you plan on actually getting to know the person? I doubt I'm getting that Toys'R'Us job. It's what happens when you get loud, extremely talkative people in the groups and you can't get a word edge wise. I did get to play with Legos so at least that was fun. I also got called for a pre employment test at a call center this morning and passed so at least have that second interview to look forward to, especially since I make bank with that job. Oh, one Friday too. If I don't have a job by the end of the week I'm going to be petty pissed.

Honestly I can't wait until end of January when I start class. I'm ready to begin working on a career now that I finally picked something. Hopefully this is the first step in becoming an adult and getting ready to live my life. I'm getting a little tired of acting like a child and dealing with all the drama that comes with it. I want to have an adult job, relationship, friends, and life. Fingers crossed I acomplish it this time around...

What Time Is It?

I'm up at this ungodly hour, is really just 8:30. I have an interview in Jacksonville today and I hope I get the job. I feel so useless without one and the lack of bank is highly upsetting. I really wish there were a Dunkin' on the way there but this is the south and of course the only two around for miles are on the other end of the town. Fuck this Marine town of their lack of good coffee. Luna also better start this morning, I'm not up for messing under the hood in the cold. Ugh. =/

I'm going to try this again.

I haven't touched this thing in three years and honestly, I had completely forgotten about it. So I'm going to try to give blogging another attempt and see what happens. I was never known for keeping my commitments without someone making me...

So I'm now living in North Carolina and have been here since July. It's quiet and country, and massive change from the Cape Cod beaches I grew up with. At least know I can have real pets and I adore my kitten Delia. I rescued and asked an ex to name her, a slight mistake in hindsight. I don't do much of anything and have no social life whatsoever. The main downside of living in the country is the lack of people around. I'd love to have some friends to go out with but I generally end up staying home and watching too many forensic shows. As of now, I'm currently unemployed because my bitch of an ex manager fired me for "stealing" regardless of the fact I didn't actually do it, but whatever. Fuck her. I have an interview tomorrow and I have my fingers crossed. These past two and a half weeks have been awful. No job means no excuse to leave the house and no money to spend. I also took my entrance tests for the college this morning and starting in Jan. I'll be training to become a pharmacy tech. I'm starting to gt my life back on track and hopefully it continues like this and I actually become an adult.

I've been feeling pretty antisocial, bitter, and cold lately. I think too many bad relationships with bad guys have ruined my outlook on life. I don't open up as easily as I did was I was younger and I have noticed I'm bitchy off the bat, as if I need to do it before they have the chance. I'm much too defensive and I'm not liking it. It's gotten to the point that I've turned to the bottle I'm so sick of myself. I'm sort of hoping this random writing will be more therapy than those joke counsoling sessions I once made myself go to years ago. But I guess we'll have to see about that, you never know.

I'll end this here and perhaps I'll remember to check back in tomorrow.