Douche Magnet

So I facebook stalked previously mentioned cute boy from the bar, mister Johnny.

He's married.

I have a magnet for men looking to cheat.

I suck.

Let's hope it's one of those joke marriages.

Like the one I have there.

The Best Night I've Had In A Long Time

I just got home and it's just past 3am. But it's cool because I don't have work for fourteen hours give or take. I'm still slightly buzzed and elated from everything that just happened.

Disclaimer: I'm still buzzed from the bar therefore this gets very explicit.

While at work, Erika and I decided that we were going out afterwards. We needed to plan my Halloween costume for the big party and maybe we wanted a drink. Or two. I was scheduled off before she was, but she had come in a few hours earlier, so fingers crossed we'd get out around the same time.

An hour of waiting, a phone call from the Momz, and we were off. Momz requested I picked her up at work since she was on the motorcycle and there was a thunderstorm abrewing. Completely understandable, and since we were only planning on going to our local 24hour Walmart, Erika and I didn't mind.

We took the trip back to my place, met Momz, who ended up just taking the coat I brought and decided to driver herself since the rain had stopped, back to my place to change into nicer clothes. Nice clothes meaning, clothes that aren't work clothes. Dressed in low cut shirts, wedge heels, and a touch of makeup, we drove the half hour trip back into town.

We made our first stop to Walmart and I found my costume. I'm going to be a fallen angel. I bought black wings, I might wear Erika's black corset, fishnets, heels. I'm just not sure about the bottoms. I can't decide what sort of skirt to wear. Frustrating. Now, to the bar!

My Taste In Men Is The Worst

So. I apparently have a major issue with guys my own age. I either like guys my younger brother's age, which I won't touch because of the whole "you're only freshly legal thing and I don't feel like cradle robbing right now" mood of things. Or, I like guys way older. Like, in their thirties. I'm sure you remember that debacle with Jeremiah, my 31 year old hook up who ended up ruining the universe. Well... there's a new one I have my eye on. Who is, you guessed it, ten years my senior.

I happen to think he's absolutely gorgeous. He certainly doesn't look his age, I honestly judged him at 25 when I first met him. So. Chris is a week into the job and flirting with me, so I invited him to a party this past Friday night. I got out about 9, so I ended over to the party early and was the first one there as per my usual. I cracked open a beer and relaxed waiting for everyone else to get off work. Once a decent amount of people got there, the beer pong games started. Courtney and I won both our games and took bragging rights.

Once I was properly drunk, the closing shift showed up to the party. Which included Chris. I was pretty damn happy about that one. Some more drinking occurred, one or four blunts were passed around. I was basically glued to his side all night. I told him it was his job to keep me warm and giggled on the inside when his arm was around me. I told him straight out I thought he was hot and that people kept leaving us alone because of that.

Busted Circadian Rhythms & Whore Delights

I'm delaying getting ready for work. I'm practically a zombie. My stupidity and my busted circadian rhythm wouldn't let me sleep until four hours ago. My schedule went all wacky this weekend and I ended up getting roped into working this morning.

My mood has been all crazy lately. It's been a rollercoaster. I was pissy yesterday morning due to a friend, but then surprisingly okay as the day wore on. But then I got to work and found out Melvin is now out of jail and he never let me know, like I asked him to. So I immediately texted, still haven't gotten an answer. That put me in a shit mood for the rest of the night. Which caused a headache. Hey gang, I apparently am famous for tension headaches. I guess I'm happy to finally know why I get headaches like no one's business, I just assumed I had a screwy brain.

With the headache, my ruined manicure, and a work rush, I was ready to punch someone. When I was finally allowed to have a smoke break, I just collapsed on the ground and dazed out. I talked to Tj some about why I was upset. No names of course, but I told him the guy I liked was being douchey and that I should probably stop going after douches. He responded that girls never give good guys, like him, a chance. I said, "Tj, I haven't gone after a good guy in years. Let alone given one a chance."

It's Been A Year...

So I was going to tell you all about boning Shane the other night. Because who doesn't love a good sex story? Perhaps you're tired of hearing about me whoring my way through life, maybe you're just jealous, but regardless I decided to skip that. Mainly because today is too epic.

Yes. More epic than sex.

It's officially one year since I left Cape Cod and moved to North Carolina. A whole fucking year. It's crazy. And what have I accomplished? Honestly, not much. I did pass my pharmacy technician class, though I haven't gotten a job in a pharmacy yet. I've whored around, got drunk a lot, got a few pets. It's been a weird year, but that's pretty damn fine with me. My dull year is what got me back into blogging and I'm so happy I did! I've met cool people through both the Shop and 20sb. Some friendships I hope I never lose, because you guys are badass. Us blogger types are just too awesome.

So here's some stuff that happened this year!

The Dirty of Doing the Dirty

I was listening to talk radio on the way home tonight. The segment on was called "Hope Line" and people called in asking for advice on an array of different situations. Anything from money problems to man whore lifestyles. The latter sparked a massive debate with the listeners. So maybe I should give you this man's back story.

This man, about 28 year old, has a problem with commitment. After sleeping with a girl three or four times, he is no longer attracted to her and hits the road. He believes this stems from his high school years where after shagging number three, his friends encouraged him to make a game out of it. Like, how many girls can you bang, and how many can you date at one time? He wouldn't admit to how many girls he had run through, but did say it was over one hundred. Yes, one hundred women have had this penis inside them. Weird. But don't worry, he's been tested and is clean. Woo yoo! Great for him. Well, it seems as of now, said man wants to break this habit, hence him calling this advice hotline.

The majority of the listening population screamed for counsoling. He needs to get his sex addiction in check! He's trying to get validation through women, whom he treats like objects! He's an awful, awful person! I'm sure most were also screaming whore, but I guess this talk show was just a touch too clean for such a word. If I was that deejay, I would've been fired for laughing at all the comments.