24 May 2011

Friend Zoned

Girl got friend zoned. Same day as the best sex ever. Kind of a buzz kill. Really. I've summarized this story so many times in the last few days to give bits and pieces to the people who know what's going on. Like the people that saw us making out. But let's get into this.

It's Friday morning. I wake up to my alarm at 4am. I'm honestly surprised I'm awake since J kept me up texting until past 2am. I get dressed, shaving my legs and putting on my good lingerie. Grabbing my stuff for the next day, I walk out my door and get into my car. I drive down my dirt road and call J as I pull out the actual roads with actual pavement. He doesn't answer. Sometimes men make me laugh, they tell you to call when you're on your way to wake them up and they don't answer. I call him about eight times on the half hour drive and still get no answer. Pulling up to his house, I get out and walk over to the tent trying not to die in the prickers. Once I'm standing outside the tent, I call him once more to laugh as I hear his phone ringing from two feet in front of me.

Still laughing, I unzip the tent and slipping out of my shoes, I step inside. I sit down and nudge him. I giggle to myself as he slowly wakes up with more and more nudging. Eventually when he's coherent enough, I crawl in next to him and we cuddle for a bit. We begin to kiss after a while and it doesn't take long for it to get heated. Once we get into it, we slip our hands south and pants come undone. We give way into some manual play, enjoying ourselves quite a bit. I'm feeling in a giving mood for some strange reason, so I go down on him. That doesn't happen often, I'm pretty greedy. I tease him for a while before I stop and go back to kissing him. After this, it takes no time for pants to be gone, my shirt gone. Well, I took off my shirt because I was not enjoying the whole bra tangled in shirt thing going on in my face. Me being naked pretty much sealed the deal.

He entered me from behind, while we were spooning. Seriously, it was incredible. This might be tmi, but I'm a pretty small person in regards to my lady parts. Any man of a substantial size is guaranteed to make me scream in pleasure. And J, well he isn't a small boy. He's quite the opposite in fact. After a while he was on top and being just as incredible. When I was thrown on top, I'm pretty sure he punctured something. I felt everything so deep inside, I could've sworn he broke me. I couldn't handle it long. We went back to spooning and I was on the verge of screaming. I was biting his wrist to keep quiet and it wasn't much longer until I came for about the third time. After a lot of begging, he went down on me. Apparently he normally does that on his own, but my asking delayed the process, likely story. But holy shit is he skilled with that tongue. I don't think I've ever experienced something that great, and I love me some oral. I eventually collapsed in an orgasmic puddle and told him not to touch me. I was much too sensitive, any touch would be felt about thirty times more than normal. Of course J didn't listen and continued to kiss and nibbled up my torso, the nerve.

We laid down for a while longer, though it didn't stay happen to long. We were both pretty tired from the epic session we just had so we were pretty out of it. He went to pull me closer and called me "Alysia". Oh, was I fucking pissed. She's this girl he has feelings for but I was kind of assuming he was over her sicne he admitted to having feeling for me. I didn't even let him explain himself. I got dressed, went through my purse, and left. I walked to my car for my blacks and sat outside smoking. I wanted to leave, I just didn't know where to go. I wasn't driving back home just to drive back for work that afternoon. In a stubborn huff, I got back in the tent determined to sleep it off. I wouldn't go near him and curled up stealing his blanket. Eventually though I did cuddle up next to him in my half asleep stupor.

When we woke up a few hours later, he went up to the house to change leaving me in the tent to get eaten alive by bugs. My feet look like a war zone, it's bad. After waiting for a while, I got out and walked to my car making J think I was leaving since he just happen to come out of the house as I reached my car. We both went inside and I hung out with his step father, who loves me by the way, as he finished getting dressed. I drove him to town and back twice and got lunch. I kissed him once at lunch and had my hand on his leg during the drive because I'm sad and pathetic. We get back to his house around one and he sends me off. I'm a little confused since I had work at 5 and the store is literally five minutes down the road. A little annoyed I drive to the other end of town to take a nap at my nana's until work.

I wake up to a text at 3:30. It's from J, saying that we're moving too fast and we should just hang out as friends. Now, J had his birthday party that night. There was no way in hell that I was going after that. While I was at work, I texted him around 10pm. I told him I wasn't coming anymore. I was actually a little surprised he asked why, so I responded why he even needed to ask. Apparently I'm a cool person and he likes hanging out with me, I just come on too strong. It's the pda that killed it. Seriously. J texts me all the time saying he wishes I was there with him, that he needs me, and I'm too much when I kiss him once in public. After he mauled me on a coworker's couch a few days prior. We've talked on and off in the few days since and half the time it makes me angrier. I made him feel easy. We've been flirting for a while, been making out, hanging out, and the one time I actually agree to the sex that he asked for more than once, he feels easy.

I feel like I have a problem. I continually go after damaged men. I like feeling needed, so I go after a guy who needs to be fixed. I've done it practically my entire dating career. The good majority of relationships I've had have included a guy with some sort of issue. I still need to deal with him at some point. I'm not sure where we are currently. But I'm not into being the consolation prize, which I told him. It's just all kinds of messed up, but at least it's keeping life interesting.


Diego said...

Fucking men.

"It was the pda that killed it" i.e. having a fuck buddy is fine and dandy but he wouldn't want you cramping his style, ruining his chances to hook up with someone else...

Don't blame yourself, seriously. A large portion of the male population is this way, forever and always.

Jess said...

I just found it funny since he initiated a make out sesh during a party at a coworker's in total view of that coworker and me kissing him in front of strangers is an issue. You'd think it'd be the other way around.