Pros and Cons of Being a Zombie

Zombie

a person held to resemble the so-called walking dead

Merriam - Webster

a dead person who is believed, in some Caribbean religions, to have been brought back to life by magic

Cambridge

reanimated corpse that feeds on tle flesh of the living. Can be exterminated by destroying the brain, or removing the brain from the body.

Urban Dictionary

Zombies have been pretty popular for quite some time now. There's countless movies revolving around them, books, survival guides, walks consisting of thousands of college aged students made up to look like them. But what does it really mean to be a zombie? What would it be like to wake up tomorrow as a zombie and have the irresitable urge to pop open someone's skull and munch their brain like a bag of Cheetos? Well wonder no more, I'm going to do all the dirty work for you and dissect the situation. Now, why do I we all want to be a zombie!

Pros

No more job or school

Freedom  

You never need a jacket 

Humans need a survival guide to live around you 

People don't like you? Kill 'em
Biting is social acceptable  

You're in the "popular" crowd 

Looking stylish in that grunge look

Everyone's on the same level

The only response you're expected to say is "Arrrruuuugh"

You only worry about one thing

You can turn anybody

You never get tired

A second lease on life

A silly thing like losing an arm is no biggie

No consquences for your actions

Movies and books written about you

College age kids pretend to be you

You're undead

Cons

Only one food choice
Only one outfit ever
No life extras
No means of personal expression
Always cold
Humans are always trying to decapitate you
You walk really slow
No sex

There you have it! The pros heavily out number the cons. It really is wicked awesome to be a zombie. Now if I could only find a zombie the world continues to make zombie related media, they'll be lots of happy campers! So rock on zombies lovers, you're picking the right side.