22 December 2010

Pros and Cons of Being a Zombie

Zombie

a person held to resemble the so-called walking dead
Merriam - Webster

a dead person who is believed, in some Caribbean religions, to have been brought back to life by magic
Cambridge

reanimated corpse that feeds on tle flesh of the living. Can be exterminated by destroying the brain, or removing the brain from the body.
Urban Dictionary



Zombies have been pretty popular for quite some time now. There's countless movies revolving around them, books, survival guides, walks consisting of thousands of college aged students made up to look like them. But what does it really mean to be a zombie? What would it be like to wake up tomorrow as a zombie and have the irresitable urge to pop open someone's skull and munch their brain like a bag of Cheetos? Well wonder no more, I'm going to do all the dirty work for you and dissect the situation. Now, why do I we all want to be a zombie!


Pros

No more job or school
Freedom  
You never need a jacket 
Humans need a survival guide to live around you 
People don't like you? Kill 'em
Biting is social acceptable  
You're in the "popular" crowd 
Looking stylish in that grunge look
Everyone's on the same level
The only response you're expected to say is "Arrrruuuugh"
You only worry about one thing
You can turn anybody
You never get tired
A second lease on life
A silly thing like losing an arm is no biggie
No consquences for your actions
Movies and books written about you
College age kids pretend to be you
You're undead

Cons

Only one food choice
Only one outfit ever
No life extras
No means of personal expression
Always cold
Humans are always trying to decapitate you
You walk really slow
No sex

There you have it! The pros heavily out number the cons. It really is wicked awesome to be a zombie. Now if I could only find a zombie the world continues to make zombie related media, they'll be lots of happy campers! So rock on zombies lovers, you're picking the right side.




2 comments:

Lionel Alva said...

I like the way you think....cool post!

Jess said...

I like the way you think!