04 December 2010

This Is The Here And Now

I've been thinking a lot lately about Cape Cod.

It seems pretty understandable, I did live there almost my entire life. I'd say 19 of the 21 years of life in one place is bound to get you attached. The beaches are places I'm never going to forget. It was great knowing just which one to visit to find the best jetty to run down, the perfect sand that was just soft enough, the best water to swim without all the seaweed, the one without the crabs that always pinched you feet, even where to find sand dollars. It was always nice knowing you were never futher than a few miles from the ocean, the smell of seawater a constant in the air. It's how I grew up, even when I went off to college there was the ocean just a five minute walk away. It seemed like the beach was always the place to drink, I wouldn't be a true Cape Codder without at least one drunken night on the sand. And believe me, there were a few. Many of the best stories somehow involved the ocean we were surrounded by. Or at least, some of my personal favorite outtings were on the beach.

When I first moved to North Carolina, it came as a shock that I was at least an hour drive from the ocean. An hour, I'm sure I screamed. I hated it immediately. Even if I didn't go to the beach all that much, it was just a comfort to have it there. Beyond my street is a while mess of trees, sort of like the beginning of a small forest. Or perhaps just someone's undeveloped backyard, who knows. I didn't go past these trees until only about a month ago and I was disappointed. I know it wasn't possible, but I had to stuck in my mind the ocean was beyond those trees. The ocean was still only a short walk down the street and I could go there whenever I wished. I realized I lived in the middle of the state, no where near any possible body of water, but I didn't care. It was my little reassurance, my security blanket, that this was home. Finally going beyond all the trees to only find more trees and more towns, it broke a little part of me. I'm in a completely different place, way down the east coast in a place I'm not used to. I'm getting more settled with each day, but not entirely comfortable. It'll happen eventually, I know, I'm just getting a little impatient.

I'll find my ocean again someday.


Bruce Coltin said...

I live an hour from Plum Island, in Newburyport. I never lived right near the water, but when I think of moving further from the ocean, I have a lot of difficulty adjusting to the idea.

Jess said...

It honestly is a huge culture shock. I'm still not used to it after five months.