Well, That's Different.

I was in the Shop like every day and one thread turned to sex, the good ones usually do. This spawned the conversation about different fetishes. It was requested I make a post about mine, here you go.

*Disclaimer: This post is going to get wicked weird and personal. The weak heart need not read further. I also want you to keep in mind in no way do I force any of my interests on the unwilling partner. I've gotten pretty good at quieting my interests.*

As an general overview I'm a bisexual sadomasochist switch with a few rather out there side interests.

Bisexual: a person sexually responsive to both sexes

I've always known I was attracted to both genders, it was never a question in my mind. Even as a child I knew girls made me feel the same way boys did. I didn't find a name for it until I was fourteen. When I first heard what bisexual meant that voice in my head started jumping around saying, "That's it!" I was always more self conscious  around girls, I found them harder to crack. Men were easy. But I'm personally never referred to myself as straight.

Sadomasochist: gratification, especially sexual, gained through inflicting or receiving pain

I'm into pain. I like causing it and receiving it. If all I want is sex, then I want my partner to pretty much beat me. I want them to spank me, choke me, claw my back, bite me. And I want to do those in return. Sex isn't good unless it hurts. I've been thrown against a wall or two at some point. It's not uncommon for me to leave the bedroom covered in bruises and bleeding or my partner for that matter. 

Switch: refers to a person who enjoys both topping and bottoming, or being dominant and submissive

I honestly have no greater preference to being either dominant or submissive during a sexual encounter. I'm fine going either way. Usually it depends on which my partner happens to be and I just fall into the other role. other times it's purely mood dependent. I might be in a little more controlling mood when I just want to pin down my partner and order them around. Other times I just want to lay there and take it. 

So the side interests. One is more of a fantasy while the other is a fetish, I recently found a term that seems appropriate to my situation.

Rape fantasy: a sexual fantasy in which sex partners create sexual arousal by one partner imagining or pretending being coerced, or otherwise being forced into a sexual activity.

This sort of plays into the sadomasochism switching. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to get raped and I'm not glorifying it. If I was to ever act this out it would only be with someone I trusted and it would be 100% consensual. Basically I've always had this fantasy of a man (my trusted partner) bursting into a room, throwing me down, and having his way. I'd want to be pinned down, choked, and bruised up. I always feel weird discussing this, so I've only mentioned it to one person. I always feel like I'm going to get bitched out for having a fantasy about someone getting attacked.

Paraphilia: sexual interest in blood

Most would call it vampirism. However, I don't just randomly get a craving for blood and have an aversion to sunlight. Mine interest is purely sexual and I've never had an interest in joining a vampire coven. I always loved vampires, it was actually my high school nickname because I used to bit my boyfriend's neck to the point it was constantly bruised. That was four years before I was introduced to the more intense side. Like I mentioned, I've always bit a lot. So when a partner of mine suggested I try out his interest, I agreed. During sex, I enjoy both blood letting and drinking. See, I can never pick a side. Blood letting can cause an endorphine rush, especially if you're into the situation from the get-go. Endorphines make you happy. Blood drinking on the other hand, it can be an adrenaline rush because you're taking something from someone. It's about being the dominant person.