Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011!

Happy New Years Eve all. This is the final post of the year and I wanted to thank you all for holding on with me. I know I've been crazy, completely random, and sexually frustrated, but it's all been in good fun! You can never take me seriously, and I hope you never did!

Delia Doesn't Understand Snow

We had a rather large snowfall a few days ago. I hate snow, that's why I moved from Massachusetts to North Carolina. My little Delia is only five months old and having spent her small life in the south, the snow took her by surprise. I let her outside and she just began scratching at the snow, trying to figure out what it was. She bounded down the steps eager to further explore the strange cold, white stuff.

She pounced every few inches, trying to catch whatever was on the ground. She was so confused. By the way, yes she does have a coat on. Cats need to bundle up, too! She looks like a tiny Sherock Holmes in that coat. I watched her for a good while jumping every which way making small foot prints in the snow. She's always loved the outdoors, but I think the snow was a new toy for her and she lovd it.

The Post Where I Get Way Too Personal

This post is going to be decievingly short. I feel like I need to put my page break way near the beginning just in case I have a few touchy or young readers. Believe me, this post is not going to be about my cute kitten. At least not the one on the My Life page. So be forewarned that this post is not intended for the light hearted.

Have you ever had a completely random, slightly anonymous romp in the sheets? Well I have. I mean, I must have or this post would've been wicked short. This is going to be the recounting of my most recent encounter, and quite possibly the hottest.

Merry Christmas To All!

1It's finally over and boy am I stuffed! It was a great day overall. I'll recap in a minute. First I'd like to say a few things

I just want to thank all my followers and hope you all had the best day possible. You guys are the reason I do this and I hope we'll keep this up into the New Year. You guys are great, and last of all, Stay Classy San Diego.

Here are some Christmas trees for ya.





Nana's tree



My tree









Is That A Belks Box I See...?

We had Christmas Eve at the nana's and we'll be having Christmas morning here at home. My cousins opened their presents already since they'll be at their mother's in the morning. I didn't get to open anything, apparently the presents from my nana, mom, and brother all are dependant on each other and I can't get one without ruining the others. Same for brothers. XD

I occasionally spied Belks boxes being hidden when I was getting yelled out for walking into a room today. I'm thinking it's a Pandora bracelet, the big present I asked for this year. I'm pretty excited, those things are so beautiful. I'll be sure to let you guys know in the morning!

I know this is a short post but I must get to bed as it's 2am and family will be here bright and early. Plus, I have to cook the dinner/lunch! Ah! Good night blogging world. Merry Christmas.

Pros and Cons of Being a Zombie

Zombie

a person held to resemble the so-called walking dead

Merriam - Webster

a dead person who is believed, in some Caribbean religions, to have been brought back to life by magic

Cambridge

reanimated corpse that feeds on tle flesh of the living. Can be exterminated by destroying the brain, or removing the brain from the body.

Urban Dictionary

Zombies have been pretty popular for quite some time now. There's countless movies revolving around them, books, survival guides, walks consisting of thousands of college aged students made up to look like them. But what does it really mean to be a zombie? What would it be like to wake up tomorrow as a zombie and have the irresitable urge to pop open someone's skull and munch their brain like a bag of Cheetos? Well wonder no more, I'm going to do all the dirty work for you and dissect the situation. Now, why do I we all want to be a zombie!

The Witching Hour: The Explicit Version

It is now 1:34am and I should be sleeping. I have last minute shopping to do in the morning as I haven't gotten my brother a thing. Thank god I'm single, I couldn't handle another giftee. He'll most likely end up with a video game and I'll end up with a new pair of shoes. Because I deserve that little extra.

So what am I thinking about at this late hour? Well, what else would I be thinking?! If you know me at all, you know the answer. This is just going to be a rant adding to my previous post. But it has been three months afterall. A girl has her needs!! Fuck dry spells, and fuck people around here. Seriously, beauty standards don't change that much across state lines.

*Caution: This is about to get pretty graphic*

Why North Carolina Is Killing My Social Life

While I would never say I was a slut in Massachusetts, others would in a heartbeat but I wouldn't, I always got plenty of action whenever I wanted it. I only had two partners in high school, I had two long term relatonships, and one fling in the summer before college. So I was slightly experienced, enough to know what I was doing basically. Believe it or not, my first college sex occured with a girl. We only hooked up twice but are still friends to this day. I always said I was going to wait until college to dive head first into the vag. From there I slowly added men whenever I felt necessary. By ths point, I had hook ups to choose from in both my hometown and my college town. It was pretty great to have that many people love my mad skillz and want repeat sessions. Threesomes by the way, totally over rated. I had one with two close friends and I was super jealous the entire time I wasn't the center of attention. I guess I'm just too selfish for multiple partner sessions. Oh well, one on one is just fine for me. I lost count of the number of times I've opened the shop, but not the customers. I like to think I'm still in good standing as long as I can remember all the names. The locations are pretty great as well. Everywhere from the standard bed to a park. Sometimes, the prospect of getting caught is half the fun. Massachusetts was great for my sex life.

Now jump to the present. North Carolina, I have been here for six months now. I have had one, only ONE, tryst in that six months. This is the longest dry spell my lady parts have seen partically since virginity. I have come to the conclusion this state is killing my social life. I have had some gentleman callers, but can you say gross? I have had only the ugliest of men hit on me with any intention of sex. I do get the occasional cutie flirting, but only to pass the time. Nothing serious. It's kind of a bummer. I would go after girls in this case, but being in bible country deters that just a little. It's pretty frustating moving sometimes. Ugh.

So here I am in my room. With no decent prospect and one engaged friend. Engaged friends aren't the greatest wingmen unfortunately. Hopefully this changes quite soon or I'll be forced to forever brand North Carolina "The State That Killed My Social Life".

Shout Outs And Suggestions

First off, Seth is still in the cage. He's starting to get very, very hungry and tired. I'm keeping him in there until I get more comments! Save Seth!!

On a more fun note, I'v gotten an epic present from a fellow blogger, Biohazard. Seriously, check out her stuff. It's pretty awesome in that wicked cool, crazy way. She makes doodles for all her followers. I might be in love with her blog! =D

But anyways, this is a Vampire Dolphin Dinosawr. Don't you just love him?! I just want to keep him as a pet and cuddle all night. As long as he can be trained not to bite!

Open For Suggestions!

Okay folks, it's time to start chipping in. I'm looking for everything and anything you would want to read. It could literally be anything from a story topic, a photo adventure, a video, a drawing, a giveaway, a random rant. So comment away and tell me what's on your mind!

For some motivation, here's the amazing Seth Simonelli of Seth&Zakk trapped in a cage. And I will only let him out if you guys get a'crackin'!

I Love You Richie Rich!

My lack of posts lately has been because I was away for a Christmasy family getaway to the mountains. It put me in the best Christmas spirit and I sang carols to my family's dismay. Apparently it's an embarassment to be seen with a 21year old girl in a Ravenclaw hat singing Christmas Carols, who knew? It's just everything was decorated up the bum for the holiday and snow was everywhere, it was beautiful. And that's saying something coming from me, I hate snow with a burning passion. We went to the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, North Carolina, which is apparently the largest home in the States. I'm talking 8700 acres of land and 4 acres of floor space within the house. Dude wanted a long driveway and got one, 3miles long. He had a pond, lagoon, river, tons of gardens, a farm, and winery. Wine tastings by the way are awesome, my first ever! At least the property was donated and made into the first national park.

Oh, tons of movies have been filmed there, too. Let's talk about Richie Rich. Remember his huge house? That completely awesome one with the large rooms and massive front yard with the cool fountains? Yeah, that was the Biltmore house. I was in Richie's house, go ahead be jealous. I would be. I loved that movie growing up and it blew my world when I was told it was the same house.

The Dirty of Doing the Dirty

I was listening to talk radio on the way home tonight. The segment on was called "Hope Line" and people called in asking for advice on an array of different situations. Anything from money problems to man whore lifestyles. The latter sparked a massive debate with the listeners. So maybe I should give you this man's back story.

This man, about 28 year old, has a problem with commitment. After sleeping with a girl three or four times, he is no longer attracted to her and hits the road. He believes this stems from his high school years where after shagging number three, his friends encouraged him to make a game out of it. Like, how many girls can you bang, and how many can you date at one time? He wouldn't admit to how many girls he had run through, but did say it was over one hundred. Yes, one hundred women have had this penis inside them. Weird. But don't worry, he's been tested and is clean. Woo yoo! Great for him. Well, it seems as of now, said man wants to break this habit, hence him calling this advice hotline.

The majority of the listening population screamed for counsoling. He needs to get his sex addiction in check! He's trying to get validation through women, whom he treats like objects! He's an awful, awful person! I'm sure most were also screaming whore, but I guess this talk show was just a touch too clean for such a word. If I was that deejay, I would've been fired for laughing at all the comments.

Your Great Day

I've been talking to a lot of people recently. Some friends I speak with almost everyday, some casual aquaintances, and some past boyfriends doing some catching up. I noticed a slight trend going on in most of these conversations. The majority of them are telling me about their current flames and how well they're doing. I'm hearing about all these "great days" and it's leaving me with a little bit of sadness dashed with bitterness.

I miss being someone's great day. I loved being with someone and knowing I could brighten their entire day just by being there. I love being the reason behind every smile and every sweet dream. I love being loved, it's honestly a great feeling though I like to pretend it isn't. I'm sure this is all still just new move lonliness I need to get over, but I tend to move slow with personal growth. Or maybe it just stems from Facebook forcing me to look at one of the few exes I regret splitting with, happy with his new girlfriend. Personally, I think she looks like a man, and an ugly one at that but that's just my opinion. He can do much better. I would say me, but I am 16hrs away afterall. XD

Today was also my mom's birthday, the big 44, so I made her a delicous cake. I spent all afternoon making it and it came out maybe not as great as I hoped, but still great. It was a two layer yellow cake with cream cheese frosting. The frosting I had made from scratch and was absolutely great. To top it all off, I threw Christmas sprinkles across it to make it look amazing. She was very happy with it, which made me even happier.

Well seeing as it's coming up on 2:30am, I should probably get my emotionally challenged butt in bed! Goodnight people of the interwebs, enjoy your dreams.

I Love Shitty Drivers

By love I mean I love making fun of them. While driving into Jacksonville with a friend of mine earlier today we were behind this completely awesome looking Corvette. I honestly almost jizzed from the absolute glory of it, the car was so beautiful. We're driving behind this car and his blinker is on. His left blinker while in the center lane with no intention of merging, but his blinker was on. I was laughing more than I thought possible.  He finally turned it off and we passed him. Now, I did make eye conact with this man as we sped by, mainly because I have a thing for cute guys with hotter cars. I was very disappointed to be locking eyes with a large black man. He must have felt shown up by my lack of enthusiasm or a lesser car passing him because not two minutes later he's speeding full throttle past us, causing the two of us to nearing piss our pants from laughter. We did catch up to him at a light a few minutes later, and yes, his blinker was on.

Later on in the evening, we were heading home. We get stuck behind this dickwad in a Mitsubishi who apparently doesn't know how to drive his own car. He continually brake checked us regardless of the fact we were a car length behind him. It wasn't like we were on his ass or anything. He did this for ten minutes before we came to a light, which we did then get right up on his bumper. He'd inch forward, so would we. Another inch forward on his part, then followed up by us. The guy hated us.

Endings Bring New Beginnings

I jinxed myself, and by myself I mean my pets. Only two days ago I wrote a post about how I got my pet chickens and this afternoon I found out my rooster died in the night. RIP Aquaman, you will be missed you glorious rooster.

Aquaman was always a bold man, staring right at you.

It's got me thinking about death just a little bit and how lost I am when it comes to it. I haven't had anyone close to me ever pass. The last person in my family that I knew passed when I was only seven. I didn't even see my great-nana all that much so seeing her in the hospital and then in the casket was so odd to me. I've been to one funeral since, my ex's father. His father I only knew for about a year, so yeah I was fairly comfortable with him, I still wasn't all that close.

Like That Akon Song I Love

Ah to be home in comfy sweats in my warm, warm bed! It was such a long day and honestly I'm wicked glad it's over. I can't wait until I leave the house for fun and not for errands. It's getting pretty old only leaving with my family and not because I have a date or plans with a friend. I know it sounds a little whiney but I'm pretty lonely now. It's really not that I'm just lonely because I'm single and don't have my own personal cuddle buddy. I just miss having a huge group of friends and tons of plans. You'd get bored too if you sat at home all day with no one but your brother and cat. XD

So far the only times I'm been asked on an outting, not including the friend I did make, is by completely creeperish men with the sole goal of getting in my panties. Yes, there are pretty great panties but there's more to a girl than her undergarments. I wish I could just meet one decent prospect to talk to. Or perhaps just a more active social life. I can be a pretty social girl, I love me some dancing and drunken antics! I promise I'm not all that boring. =] I guess for now I'll have to settle for all my friends via internet connection. Internet based friends are better than no friends!

That's all she wrote for today, folks. I'll be back tomorrow and hopefully give a more fulfilling rant or rambling...

Insanity and Superheroes

Mom: When I retire, I think I'm going to have huge garden, some dogs, and maybe some chickens.
Jess: CHICKENS?! You're going to have chickens?!
Mom: Yep. For the free eggs.
Jess: But where will you get them?
Mom: You can find them online and get them as babies, Jess. It's not that hard.
Jess: ... I want baby chickens.
Mom: Okay, you can get some when we move.

Jess: But I want them now. I want pet chickens. They can live in my room. Can you please get me chickens next time you go to North Carolina?!

Mom: *laughing* Well, your aunt is coming here this week. Ask her.

Jess: I will!

*ring ring riiiiiiiiing*

Aunt: Hey Jess, what's up?
Jess: I want some baby chickens. Can you get some for me?
Aunt: *long pause* ARE YOU ON CRACK?!?!?!?!?!
Jess: No, I just want pet chickens. Please? Two, so they don't get lonely.
Aunt: Fiiiiine, I guess as long as your mother agrees.
Jess: She did she did she did she did! Yaaaaaaay!
Aunt: I should be back in Mass in two days, meet me in Brockton to get them.
Jess: I will! I can't wait! I love you, thank you so much!
Aunt: *laughing* No problem, love you too girl.

*disconnect*

Jess: Mom! She's bringing me baby chickens!
Mom: *laughing* You're such a strange child. I wonder about you sometimes...

Revamping and Halloween Stories

When I have bouts of insomnia, it apparently ends in another new look for the page. I like this one, so maybe it'll stay this way for awhile. I spent forever on the new banner and it's a little big but I'm just fine with that. I'm supposed to be up in about five hours and out the door in six. I doubt I'm going to get more than a short nap. Tea and coffee are just going to have to be my best friends now aren't they.

Since I'm going slightly crazy from boredom I'll share a story. This takes place a few days before Halloween of 2009 while I was living in Salem, Ma. I was invited to a costume party in Lynn, just a town over, and I was pretty excited as I had choosen to dress up as Billy Mays that year. You all remember Billy Mays right, the amazing man who screamed at you to buy his cleaning products? Yeah, I love him. I looked quite amazing, especially next to Michael Jackson. Yep, my best friend, Mal, went as the one and only MJacks. She was probably the best MJacks impersonator you could hope to see.

It's Been Pretty Heavy...

My last few posts have been wicked heavy, and for that I apologise. Honestly, I blame it entirely on the fact I'm pms-ing. I'm for in the mood for lighter, fun topics so look out! Now that I've gotten the basic "this is where I'm from and why I am the person I am" shizz down and out of the way I think I'm ready to be able to dash into my life as is full force.

I Love The Way You Lie...

The most significant romantic relationship in my life lasted from February 10th 2007 to sometime in late June 2008. It became an on again off again complicated mess with ties being cut multiple times and broken promises of silence for another year. And while the relationship was never abusive, it sort of became the way in that messed up second year. No, never physical. He never hit me or land a hand on me in a hurtful manner. It was that sneakier way of abusing someone, that kind that sticks around much longer than the person. That's why, now over a year later, I'm still feeling it.

I'll take you back to the beginning. We met the summer of '05 and Mike was immediately smitten with me. Unfortunately I had a boyfriend, that was the summer I met my first real love and I couldn't be bothered with another guy. We didn't speak until the following year, around the end of my relationship with my first love. Once it was over, we started hanging out and I began to feel for him what he did for me and we started dating within the month. It seemed like the perfect relationship to me. I was with someone who had been in love with me from the time we met and absolutely adored me. We found out we had walked around each other all our lives. Our fathers knew each other, drug connections but this the early 90's, I lived next door to his grandmother, his best friend was the brother of my brother's best friend. His older sister even baby sat me a few times. To me, it seemed like fate. He became my whole life, he was my best friend, I saw him everyday. So when he proposed that summer, I said yes. I honestly believed we belonged together and we'd spend our lives together. We got in a car accident in the end of August and if I hadn't swerved he would've died. To my surprise, he stayed with me so I started my senior year of high school engaged and was happier than ever.

This Is The Here And Now

I've been thinking a lot lately about Cape Cod.

It seems pretty understandable, I did live there almost my entire life. I'd say 19 of the 21 years of life in one place is bound to get you attached. The beaches are places I'm never going to forget. It was great knowing just which one to visit to find the best jetty to run down, the perfect sand that was just soft enough, the best water to swim without all the seaweed, the one without the crabs that always pinched you feet, even where to find sand dollars. It was always nice knowing you were never futher than a few miles from the ocean, the smell of seawater a constant in the air. It's how I grew up, even when I went off to college there was the ocean just a five minute walk away. It seemed like the beach was always the place to drink, I wouldn't be a true Cape Codder without at least one drunken night on the sand. And believe me, there were a few. Many of the best stories somehow involved the ocean we were surrounded by. Or at least, some of my personal favorite outtings were on the beach.

When I first moved to North Carolina, it came as a shock that I was at least an hour drive from the ocean. An hour, I'm sure I screamed. I hated it immediately. Even if I didn't go to the beach all that much, it was just a comfort to have it there. Beyond my street is a while mess of trees, sort of like the beginning of a small forest. Or perhaps just someone's undeveloped backyard, who knows. I didn't go past these trees until only about a month ago and I was disappointed. I know it wasn't possible, but I had to stuck in my mind the ocean was beyond those trees. The ocean was still only a short walk down the street and I could go there whenever I wished. I realized I lived in the middle of the state, no where near any possible body of water, but I didn't care. It was my little reassurance, my security blanket, that this was home. Finally going beyond all the trees to only find more trees and more towns, it broke a little part of me. I'm in a completely different place, way down the east coast in a place I'm not used to. I'm getting more settled with each day, but not entirely comfortable. It'll happen eventually, I know, I'm just getting a little impatient.

I'll find my ocean again someday.

The Tales and Trials of Womanhood

When the only thing you want to wear is head to toe sweats, you might be hormonal. When the only thing you can make yourself do is cuddle in blankets in front of the tv, you might be hormonal. When all you want to drink is highly sweetened hot beverages, you might be hormonal. When all you want to eat is pretty much anything in sight, you might be hormonal. Sometimes being a woman, really sucks. When every other thing about me screams child, you think my body would comply. I act like a child, my body should as well.

I cancelled my interview this morning mainly because I couldn't bring myself to go to it. I figured writhing in pain was bad for a job interview. I know it's only uphill from here but I hope it doesn't take too long. Wrapping myself in warm blankets with junk food sounds like pretty much the best in the entire world right now.

I'm counting down the days until class begins and now that I have a friend joining me, it'll be even better. I'm ready for a good career where I can make bank and go off on my own. I'm getting a little tired of the living with mommy thing and want my own place. I'm old enough to make my own decisions and I shouldn't have to run it past someone first. And goddamn it, I want to have a drink in my own house without having to hide it in my bedroom. I want to be able to come home and have a cold drink. Cold because it's been in my fridge and not in my closet. It was one thing to hide my drinking when I was underage but I'm legal now, it's rediculous to have to hide it now.

Baby When It's Cold Outside...

I'm sitting here bundled up in bed in my rapist sweats and Brockton High sweatshirt and I'm seriously starting to regret drinking two cups of tea in a five minute span because all I want to do is sleep. It was fucking freezing outside and having to do heavy lifting all night wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I woke up this morning. I had planned for a job interview, furniture pickup, and possible some yard work. But nope, I get recruited to lift the world's heaviest chicken coop and step in dog poop. Awesome. At least now I feel warm and clean, on top of hyper. 1am is a little late for it, but I'll take what I can get.

I'm setting my heart on the job I interviewed for this morning. It's a nice job at a call center with a nice starting, 2$ above minimum, with chances for raises and benefits. Plus, I can keep my piercings and I can wear jeans. It's pretty awesome. Fingers are deff crossed times a million. I need a nice job to make bank while I train for a career to make even more bank. =]